sex ed

[bettyboop63]

im totally for sex ed in secondary school , i had to have it in 70s in my day , this used to consist of drawings on the blackboard a grinning teacher telling us the basics ect which we all knew already and giggled through so when receiently my daughter brough home a form to sign letting me know she would in a few months be having sex ed and for me to sign i did so... the other day DD is 13 btw she comes home all giggly telling me how she spent her afternoon putting condoms on a bright pink dildo , im broad minded but do they have to be so grapgic is that really necessary? shes a virgin and only just has a bf at school no real dates yet i do know other DC's are perhaps more sexually active already but it would have been nice to have been warned the content as well as the fact they were going to be covering sex ed

hmmmi think we obviously have different ideals and morals if you believe its OK for a male teacher to be showing young girls how to put a condom on a dildo totally dont mind a male or female teacher discussing it ect ect why are some of you making out im a prude lol i was a punk in the 70s hardly a prude by any means

If I tried to demonstrate condom application to my dd, she'd poke her own eyes out with a fork.

Much better done at school with a disinterested adult and her mates.

if you read through as a few of you have totally not understood my origanal post i did say im not anti sex ed and my children do know already we openly discussed this subject from litterally the time they could talk i believe its a parents responsibility but i do understand many parents (im not one of them ) are embarassed about this subject. sepeart issue btw is according to what ive read sex and teen pregnancy is a lot worse now than when i was at school in the 70s so if you (as a few have said) believe putting condoms on a dildo is completely necessary id like to know what was wrong with the way we were taught sex ed in the 70s and where in that case is the proof it obviously worked better before , and id like to reiterate as people seem to forget the OP but i did say i know a lot of girls & boys have sex early , weechancer btw i watched that programme and the children concerned were from deprived backgrounds with bad parenting role models , any parent who allows their teens to have access to porn on the internets playing with fire and should be ashamed. I personally cant see what used a bunch of kids spending an afternoon playing around gigglings going to teach them

sorry forgot to say teenage abortions are the highest ever now since 1968 sadly

Um, that's because they used to be too ashamed to tell people they were pregnant, get sent away to a mother and baby home, and have the babies removed.

Exactly, Hullygully. I was one of those babies. I was taken away from my mother and adopted at four weeks old. Would I prefer my daughter to have an abortion than go through that - absolutely I would.

The other point about the condom demonstration, betty, is that condoms are essential to prevent stds, not just pregnancy. They more they are demystified, normalised and accepted, the better for everyone's sexual health.

On the issue of parents allowing children to watch porn on television, we need to get real, it is so common because so many kids now have their own bedrooms, with their own TV and or computer and know better than their parents how to access porn. They also get it from their smart phones. The latest form of bullying is to get your girl friend or boy friend to film themselves doing something sexual or just show off some of their bits - this is then sent around the school or the world in seconds from smart phones.

Because parents have been convinced by the media and police in particular, that the the streets are full of muggers and rapists and a dangerous place to be, too many children now have bedrooms stacked full of the gadgetry to access what ever they want from violence to pornography and countless games. Whilst they are secure in their so called safe bedrooms, parents are often oblivious to what is going on as they watch what they want on TV.

i know that tyvm, if you scroll back to the OP that was nothing to do with the discussion or why i poted itand i repeat pregnancy AND abortions are more now not less than when i was a girl so why do you think this way of teaching is better than in previous years? also in my OP my statement was why the need basically to use sex toys as that trivialises the subject making it even more just a "bit of fun , it was well jks" as they all were saying as i say how much (not much i doubt) actually sinks in. concerning porn all three of my DC ones 11 ones 14 ones 15 noone have ever seen porn all have separate bedrooms and all have their own laptops but i check and supervise what they are allowed to see and parents should be parenting keeping a very watchful eye on what their kids were up to inc violence, porn, theft, drunkeness, hanging around in the street with nothing to do, if their parents arnt doing that what do they expect to happen

But the dildo in this exercise is not a sex toy, it is a representation of an erect penis. Generally not something most children come across a huge amount at home or school prior to their first sexual experience.

I too supervise my children (12 and 10), our computers are only in common rooms. But I doubt very much that I can stop them coming across dodgy things up until they leave home, and they may well be at school with children who have much less close supervision, or who just have an accidental encounter.

re teenage pregnancy my understanding is that the rates are actually coming down in the UK, although from a worryingly high level. It's also worth bearing in mind that not all of those births are accidental, many are planned.

sex education is one part of a larger picture when it comes to teenage pregnancy. it is a vital part but no more less so than ensuring that girls feel valued and are aware of the opportunities available to them, other than those of having children. to ensure that those who wish to explore the opportunity of having children at a young age, do so with full knowledge of the reprocussions.

with this in mind i think that stating that teenage pregnancy is higher than in 'our day' is a loaded statement, we haven't even begun to talk about cultural changes, tv, adverts peer pressure etc.

so the blame this solely on sex education i think is misleading.

I think it is correct and proper that schools do have sex education, although i am unsure as to whether i agree with how it is being conducted. i think teaching 12 year olds to put a condom on properly is nothing more than a nod in the direction of things that need to be addressed when it comes to sex ed. IMO this is one single area to concentrate on. does sex ed cover more than this?

i keep banging this drum, but signing a consent form for other people to parent your children is rubbish, and we parent by proxy all to much via the school system.

this is one area where parents need to be taught how to talk to their children and in this area - and imo this area alone, parents and the education establishemtns should work together.

it would be no rubbish thing for a series of sex ed vlasses with parents and children together to take place with some during the day and some in the evening. ooh look revolutionary idea- even some at a weekend.
taught by professional sex ed trainers, not a moonlighting geography teacher.

Not sure anyone would enjoy that very much custardo!

I'm happy to talk to my children about sex education, and like you I agree that the sex bit is really the smallest part of helping essentially to grow up - equally/more important aspects to me would include valuing themselves, navigating relationships, respecting other people, understanding differences and lots more. I hope that the support and education school provides compliments what they learn at home, and that they learn through their friendships too.

pregnancy rate has fluctuated since the 50s but its certainly not better than in should i say then figures for the area i live obviously as the figures show they are much higher in "deprived areas" not my wording btw the surveys and as you say certainly nothing to be proud of and thats with this so called necessary way of portraying it i wasnt blaming anything on anyone either if people read my OP the only thing i was discussing was the WAY i which we teach DC's sex ed not when or why and yes possibly room for parent/Dc sex ed classes not sure they would get people to go to that though, perhaps for some parents they themselves need to go to learn HOW to talk to their DC's as i still feel its their responsibility and shouldnt pass the buck to as you say some moonlighting geog teacher, from my chats with my DS15 and DD 14 i think sex ed seems to be very basic but then more in depth about condoms ect not a bad idea as obviously std's and unwanted pregnancies are the biggest concern but its how this is done im querying

totally agree there also nooka no where near enough in life skills/ sex ed done about the points youve raised so much prejudisim ive two NT DC's and a ASD DS and you wouldnt believe how cruel and ill informed adults are let alone children/teens and personal happiness and achievement , also teaching how to deal with bullies ect ect the list of what life skills they should be covering goes on and on

Does anyone agree that sex education should include information on gay, bi-sexual and heterosexual safe sex?

No because those things are just plain wrong and an abomination. Apart from the last one.

is there a difference?

genuine question

You need stronger condoms for anal, if nothing else.

missed your point, "is there a difference?" in what?

It is a myth that only gay men practice anal sex, research suggest that up to a third of heterosexuals, sometimes practice this. So they all need this knowledge.

Oral sex is practice by all three groups.

"i keep banging this drum, but signing a consent form for other people to parent your children is rubbish, and we parent by proxy all to much via the school system" custardo i totally agree why do the schools interfere in so much of our parenting a lot of them have not even got kids

Forgot to sy that not all gay men practice anal sex.

I agree with you that parents need to be taught about how to talk to their kids about sex,drugs, and much more. The problem is that nobody has yet found a way to get parents to come out in any serious numbers to such opportunities for education. I have tried for decades to run sessions for parents on drugs and alcohol education. They won't attend either because they think this is not a problem for their kids, or because they do not want to be seen taking too much of an interest in these topics in case people think they have a problem.

The only places I have had any success in doing these sessions has been in work places of large companies. Where enlightened employers wanted to ensure that their workforce were well enough informed to not have a drugs, alcohol, smoking or sexual health problem that would keep them off their work.

The highest rates of teenage pregnancy are still in the most deprived communities of Scotland and England. Almost all of these pregnancies happened when alcohol was taken. This disinhibitor drug is as much as a problem as the lack of sex education. But the two are clearly linked. I agree with the comment that education on subjects that parents find difficult to deal with, drugs, sex, alcohol and mental health are all better dealt with by well trained, visiting health experts who know how to work with children. Many youth projects across the UK do very useful work in this field. But cutting their funding is the order of the day by all governments.

Weechancer, perhaps this will cheer you - I used to have an acquaintance who had tried all sorts of drugs, including heroin, at a young age and was in fact in rehab for cannabis addiction at the age of 18, and he said to me "It doesn't matter what the drug is, nothing, nowhere in the world can compare with the high you get from sex.

I remember not believing him at the time as my early sexual experiences were pretty crap. But I think it's probably true now