Cannabis rears its ugly head again

[fedup4]

I have posted on here in the past about my 15 year old son dabbling in cannabis which lead to him being excluded from school and having to see a counsellor. We fought hard against it, stopped all money etc etc and thought it was all in the past but I wasn't stupid enough to think he didn't do it sometimes and kept it well hidden.

He arrived home at 12.15 on Friday night and his dad searched him and found a wrap of cannabis.

To be honest I am not even shocked - my lowest point was when he got excluded from school because of it. He has put us through so much in the last year - another 4 school exclusions for bad behaviour and getting caught shoplifting last month. He is hanging round with a complete bunch of wasters and I can't wait for him to start college in September - hopefully without any of them.

His behaviour at home and at school has improved 75% since Christmas but then we take 10 steps back with the cannabis and the shoplifting - things which have the potential to drastically wreck his future.

His 12 year old brother knows he brought the cannabis home - what do we do now?

He was getting very little money from us when he went out - that is why we weren't worried - he had £5 or £6 at the most, but I have just found out he is selling drinks and chocolate in school and has been for a long time - I have no doubt now this is funding cannabis and alcohol.

I have just phoned the school to get this stopped and might even go as far as confiscating his bag - he never has much in it anyway.

He lied about the cannabis and said someone gave it to him as they could not take it home with them but I have found texts saying - r u drinking and smoking today?

He doesn't go anywhere or do anything with this group of lads in the daytime - just goes out with them at night and tries to come home as late as possible.

I confiscated my 12 year old's xbox last month for 2 weeks because he truanted 2 lessons - he will want to know what is going to happen to his brother?

Sorry for a long rambling post - after reading the other recent posts on devastating cannabis use I need to go all out to completely stop this.

Hi fedup4
I have been through this with my son from age 14 he is now 21. Not much has changed. Reflecting back I would have tried to distract him with things to do i.e. go out and do something and always be one step ahead. This alright said in heind site. Punishments didn't work, so a different tact is needed. I really feel for you because it is so hard to monitor and keep control with. Talk and try to change friends.

I have just spoken to the school and found out that his "best" friend has major issues which go far beyond any son may have had. The head of year thinks it is doubtful he will get into any sixth form college.

My son left his house a month or two ago reeking of cannabis although you could tell by his eyes that he hadn't smoked any.

I feel sorry for this boy and his mum as his dad died suddenly just before he went to secondary school and his mum now has a new boyfriend so he will definitely have problems. I used to have her number but I got the impression she didn't want to speak to me after I told her about her son's cannabis use 18 months ago.

Pinkchoccy - does your son just dabble or is he addicted and has it affected his whole life?

I do think I have to stop the money but banning him for the xbox for a month will not have any affect at all I should I imagine. If he has the money and the opportunity I am sure he will buy it if his friends are.

I don't have an issue with a few cans - this is going to get you arrested and a criminal record.

His head of year said most of the boys are okay on their own and she is sure my son will change if he gets a new group of friends at college - she agrees with me it wouldn't be wise for him to go with anyone he hangs around with at the moment.

sorry - should have said a few cans is NOT going to get you arrested with a criminal record.

I would say that my son is addicted. I hope that your son changes his friends and doesn't get addicted. It seems to be a huge problem in this country.

Have you thought about getting him involved with sailing (train to do races) golf or fishing with his dad/another male.
Is he a good swimmer, runner etc put him into a team.

Does he like dance, drama or singing?

I was a wild child & my mum frog marched me to sea cadets & took me every week for a year - standing outside for 2 hours if needed.

I now know how to sail, march with firearms, tie knots, be a team member, talk infront of crowds, build a raft out of floats etc & weed became a boring 2nd to me.

I stayed with them for 6 years & had a great time.