Period pains-when to "give in" to it?

[shesparkles]

Dd is 13, has had fairly regular periods for almost a year, but seems to be experiencing her first bout of "real" period pains.
Up until now, she's pretty much grinned and borne it, and just got on with life.
She went to the gym last night, and on coming home, said she was feeling quite unwell with tummy cramps. She had paracetamol, warm bath etc and went to bed.
This morning, I couldn't get her out of bed (usually not a problem at all) and she said she'd not been able to sleep due to the pain.
I've already said she can go into school late (she has excellent attandance)and have cleared this with school, but she's still like a dying duck!

I'm not sure which way to go with this-do I chivvy her along no nonsense style with painkillers in her bag for later, or be lovely sympathetic mum and let her have a duvet day?
I really don't know which way to go with this!

I had horrendous periods for 20 years(- didn't realise it was that long!) until I had DD. They were particularly bad when I was a young teen - I had to take double doses of Feminax till the GP put me on extra-strong horse pills.

SO she could genuinely be suffering!

I forgot to say, I was never allowed a duvet day, just dosed up!

Let her have the day off. I used to get very bad cramps when I was that age and even collapsed at school they were so bad
Thank goodness for Feminax, the only thing that sorted them out.
By the age of 16yrs old, they were much more bearable and touch wood, I've not had cramps for years.

Please don't ignore your daughters pain. I suffered with pain that woke me at night as a teenager and it didn't get better until I went on the pill at uni. My mum pretended it wasnt happening and offered no help or. sympathy

it says something about us women really when we feel we should be so harsh on teenage daughters when we have probably suffered ourselves to the point of passing out/vomiting and generally feeling very crap.

As someone else said if men were suffering in this way something more woudl have been done about it but we (I include myself) feel we need to minimise it and be slightly martyred about it.

I suffered badly as a teen and mostly ended up in the sick room (when I would have been better off at home). My mother used to make me go to school and even on first day of first ever period suggested it would be a good idea to walk (about three miles) to a netball tournament. WTF

Years later I found out from my df that hers were so bad she used to have to be taken home from work (and prob school).

Thankfully when I had ds1 I no longer had painful periods but have always suffered severe ovulation pain which was also dismssed and brushed under the carpet. It probably should have been investigated as sometimes I'm unable to walk with the pain and have felt like a red hot poker was stuck up my backside (sorry TMI)

Maybe this has had the effect of being too soft but I would say that its not a sign of weakness to let a girl stay at home if things are that bad. I can remember sitting doubled up at the desk at school not really taking anything in.

Kasha - I think that's a very useful post - however I would say re the masturbation that the uterus contracting can make clots worse - TMI

agree with sincitylover, it's quite telling really that we talk about 'giving in' like this when if it was a child (maybe a boy!) with some other condition causing such severe pain we wouldn't even be questioning whether it should be taken seriously. For some reason when it's 'women's isuses' you're expected to just get on with it.

You see a similar thing with childbirth (see epidural threads in the Childbirth forum), women being left in intolerable pain begging for help and being refused it, and this is considered perfectly fine and normal, whereas it would be thought quite barbaric and inhumane if another (non-maternity) patient was left in similar amounts of pain.

Nice lazy day at home!

It's one day off school per month or every two months. If her grades are good, then it's okay. There's no point in her taking two paracetemol in the morning and only taking the edge off the pain, and then going to school and have to concentrate/do PE etc. It's not like she'll be having an easy time of it at home.