What do you think about this comment

[pinkchoccy]

"The grandparents have failed one generation and the current trend is that they are best to parent another generation. The parents are a complete mess and my sympathy goes out to them because I know how much they want to parent a baby and be loved by their baby - most likely because they have never been loved by the very grandparents their baby is to live with"

The above comment was put on in the fostering section. It was regards really to something else. This was for an example out of control teenage parents with children taken into care. I am talking really aged 16 years and over. Would you consider taking on your grandchild in these circumstances?

ps it wasn't my comment!

I totaly agree with the previous post from Maryz.
I knew of a parent whos son had a baby which was taken into care on her recomendation and given to her. she then planned for her 16yr old d to take care of the baby during the day! finally social s realised that perhaps this grandparent did not know best and the baby was returned to its father.

I know about grandparent adoptions that have failed because they didn't stick to the terms/couldn't cope etc (they only wanted the youngest child who was a girl not any of the others). They fought through the courts to adopt her and then failed her - perhaps they let their dd (drug issues) visit her I don't know. So instead of getting a forever family at 3 she went to gp, then to care (again) and then a new forever family at about 5/6

I also know a grandparent bringing up her gd but lets her druggie dd walk in and out of her gds life - fortunately not much but when she has turned up the gd has been very upset and her behaviour in school been really bad as a result.

I think sometimes grandparents can be/are the best thing and in other circumstances they're not it's so not clear cut.

OP - I don't know where you have picked up the comment but there was an article in the paper recently

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1363666/Bad-girls-Explosive-violence-craving-love-heartbreaking-truth-child-mothers.html

that discusses this topic and the evidence suggests that the cycle of deprivation continues down the generations with grandparents not supporting one generation who then go on to have their own children at a very young age to find the unconditional love they themselves were denied.

The statistics make for alarming reading for the outcomes of those poor babies born to teenage parents.

So no, I don't think such grandparents would make ideal parents a second time round. The artice describes children who are very vulnerable in such circumstances.

Also, not sure how decent grandparents could shield and protect grandchildren from their own failed offspring. It would be very tricky.

Maybe try posting on the grandparent's section?

I know that in my distant family there has been a trend of mothers not interacting or being emotionally connected with their girl children. This has been passed through 4 generations so far. In these circumstances a girl child in particular would do much better in a completely different family.