13 year old boy alone in the house with a friend?

[Jotania]

Our 13-yr old boy wants to give his friend drum lessons in our home while we're at work (after school). He's my step-son and lives with us but he goes to his mother every day after school for a few hours.

I don't mind him doing this in principle, and I'm keen to root him more into our home where it's sensible, but on previous occasions when he's been at home with a friend he has a) made fire bombs out of matches and aerosols (not set them off thankfully) and b) taken a football up to our antique-filled loft-conversion despite direct instructions not to pay football in the house. My husband (who was a very naughty teenager) thinks it's fine yet is supporting me in not allowing our boy to be at home alone with a friend. Our son says he can't do the drum lessons in the evenings when we're at home because he and his friend are busy with other activities.

My question: would you leave a 13-year old alone in the house with a friend - ever? Depending on the children? If the other child's parents agreed? Etc. Any comments gratefully received.

Jotania

Yes. My son is 13 he stays alone(not overnight obviously)

He has friends round. Their parents know. It's a couple of hours. It's his home as well.

It's not his age, its his maturity (and that of his friend).

So the million dollar question is do you trust him to behave sensibly?

The last thing you want to have to do is explain to the police why you thought he was mature enough to be left alone after he's burned the house down with a homemade firebomb.

At the risk of sounding callous, boys will be boys. I used to make all sort of contraptions. But it doesn't mean its a good idea to leave me alone in the house

What NiceGuy said. It's not about 13yos in general, it's about this particular one. Would you tell the other parents that he is someone who might indulge in some very irresponsible behaviour?

I wouldn't leave a 13yo with his track record alone in the house with a friend. And I'd have no hesitation in explaining the reasons to him. If he usually paid attention to rules, and behaved sensibly, then that would be different.

13yo vary a lot - he doesn't sound mature enough to be trustworthy.

I just read the title of your thread and thought: FFS - of course that's ok.

But then I read what you'd said about what he's been up to. Fire! Matches! Aerosols! No respect for antiques! Going against house rules!

I'm afraid your DS cannot be trusted with this responsibility. The answer is no.

I would but not with his history. He would need to seriously earn my trust first.

OMG! Making fire bombs

Is that what 13yo boys do? Only 3 years till I find out

Not with OPs track record.
I leave my DD 13 with her friends, but she is very mature and so are most of her friends
I think DS would have been okay at 13, but it would also depend on the friend!

If you're not absolutely sure, then wait. I think two children are much more likely to come up with a Really Bad Plan than one on his own.

Intersting about the height calculator. I experimented with the weight and the higher the weight the shorter the outcome.

DS's outcome is 6'1 and DD's is 5'7. I do think DS is still growing a bit even though he was an early starter.

DD probably won't grow much more and I doubt she will reach 5'7.

Oops sorry wrong thread

I am happy to leave 13 yr old DD and friends - but as other wise posters have said, you need to take into account the maturity of the child, and your DSS sounds a little.....more risky.

Is there no time for drumming lessons over the weekend?

Trust your instinct on this one!