Change in behaviour

[Nuttybod]

I'm new here and just after some advise/reassurance. I've read a lot of posts about teenagers and I don't pretend that my problem is as bad as many of them but all the same I'm struggling to cope with my DS.

He is a bright confident boy but since his 13 b'day at the beginning of Jan he is driving me mad.

He came home with another detention on Tuesday and I have just spoken with his form tutor who is concerned with his behaviour at school. He is rude, answers back and very disruptive. He is now on tutor report where each teacher has to monitor his behaviour during each lesson.

We have banned facebook, xbox, phone, ipod and all other privileges but none of this is having any affect. He says he is disappointed with himself but still doesn't change.

I know its a phase and I have to pick my battles but how do I get him to realise that if he doesn't stop the silly behaviour now he will end up in more serious trouble.

Any help gratefully received :)

Is he struggling at certain subjects and is messing about to divert attention?

i thnk you have to be careful not to get into a cycle of bad behaviour = withdrawl of nice things. becuase he wll just hate you for it.

essentially teens are toddlers but bigger - they need encouragement, and they need reminding that you are a person too - now cryng and wailing at them doesn't cut t they just roll their eyes and switch off - but havng a bit of a laugh and a joke will -perhaps at the dinner table or whilst you are driving in the car.

also punishments need to be short - DH always went over the top shouting " you're grounded for a MONTH!" thats just daft, make the punishemtn a copuple of days at most.

give him a love and tell him you love him. get him to help you with perhaps cooking so you can have some time together

and remember they won't tell you a damn thng if they think you are going to shout - so sometimes its best to grit your teeth and nod whilst listening to appalling antics - that way you get to know what is really going on and can strategise in your own head how to deal with it.

How well do you know his friends?

Have friendship groups changed recently?

Sorry to say this but you need to consider the possibility of cannabis.

What else is going on in his life? Your life/family life?

cannabis? really!

Year 8? Yes, sadly, not unusual here in North London.