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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Nice Teens

30 replies

C0FFEE · 02/02/2011 11:43

Keep reading about all these moody teens here, anyone got any nice ones who are polite and cooperative?

I had a great relationship with my parents, but they were easy going an open with me. I could wear what I liked, when started smoking it was like well OK we wished you wouldn't but as you are you might as well do so at home, friends were made welcome.

Of course there were no nos, but I respected these - most of the time

Non of my friends were horrible (not that I can recall) to their parents, they challenged their parents and had moods with them but it is not as if it was constant war

OP posts:

maryz · 02/02/2011 18:25

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brimfull · 02/02/2011 18:31

def yes
dd and her friends are lovely
polite , respectful and fun to be with

she is 19 now , she has always told me where she is , called if she's gooing to be late etc

mutual respect helps

I also gave up giving her a hard time about her room a long time ago , she does help out around the rest of the house though needs reminding sometimes

cybbo · 02/02/2011 18:32

My dd TRIEd to be moody and unco operative but I just kept repeating my request to her over and over until she realised she wasnt getting an argument out of me. Give my D an inch and she will take a MILE

She tells me about her mates at school and I'm

WhiteRose26 · 02/02/2011 18:34

Both mine are great, most of the time. DD now at university, doesn't get in touch as often as we would like but I guess that's how it is. DS (15) gets very angry sometimes and argues argues argues (he's very good at it; perhaps he'll become a politician ).

I do consider myself quite lucky most of the time, especially when I hear of what some other people's kids get up to. So far, anyway.

Tortington · 02/02/2011 18:37

mine are larvelly at the moment - 90% of the time. i like teenagers - well mine anyway.

today ds had day off college - came shopping with me bagged up shopping, unloaded shopping when we got home and help put it away.

it's when he ramdom'y asks " wanna brew?" i eye him up suspiciously, he just laughs and makes me a cuppa.

picc · 02/02/2011 18:39

Am a teacher and meet lots of great teenagers. All but a very few are "polite and cooperative".
Not always perfectly behaved, but often full of life and humour.

dunno what they're like at home, tho

MaureenMLove · 02/02/2011 18:43

I thank god on every one of DD's teenage birthdays, that we've made it without disaster or tricky situation! She's a good kid, pita at times, but she's OK.

basildonbond · 03/02/2011 14:56

welll... ds1 can be frequently be a right pain ... but we had Y9 parents' evening last night and one of the teachers started by saying "I love teaching your son!" :) in fact the whole evening was overwhelmingly positive so even when he's being at his grumpiest at home I've got something to hold onto :)

rubyrubyruby · 03/02/2011 14:58

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jellybeans · 03/02/2011 14:59

Have 2 secondary age DDs, one was awful ages 11-14 and other one never had any trouble with. Some of their friends are lovely and some awful.

Stricnine · 03/02/2011 15:28

I'm also enjoying the teenage years - so much more fun than the 'early years'.

DD and I went to London (from Scotland) for a weekend of shopping and shows - she was fantastic company !

and similarly I don't nag over the room or wee things - she always tells me where she's going, time she'll be back etc and very positive reports from school... happy to put up with a bit of moodiness if it all pans out in the long run ...

Milliways · 03/02/2011 17:17

Wouldn't change a thing about my two :)

DD was never a problem, normal moodiness & exam stress was as bad as it ever got, and I miss her loads now she is at Uni, and love it when she comes home.

DS at 15 still tells me all about his day, involves us in everything (A level choices at the moment) and wants his "huggle" on the sofa each night.

I feel very blessed, and it's great to see others appreciatimng their teens too.

musicposy · 03/02/2011 18:30

My 15 year old is absolutely lovely. She'll make me endless cups of tea, helps with chores around the house and is generally responsible and sensible. She's enormous fun and I genuinely love her company.

My 11 year old I'd been worried as she's been quite challenging the last year but she seems better recently too. I've tried to spend lots of time listening to her and it's made a difference. I think she will shape up OK :)

I love the teen years, so much easier than toddlers! It's so nice not having to bath them/ do their hair/ dress them etc. It's also nice knowing that when you go shopping they won't lay on the supermarket floor and scream the place down. The worst thing I get in the supermarket nowadays is a minor glare and 5 minutes stalk off to the magazine aisle - and I can just let them go!

mummyflood · 03/02/2011 18:47

2 great teen DS's here. Their main faults are being lazy (DS1) short fuse in a morning (DS2) but they make up for these in so many other ways. They are both fantastic company and we are very proud of them both.

I love it when people praise their teens, and also when other people praise mine! a very proud moment the other day - DS1 told me that his Girlfriend said she 'felt safe' with him, probably not least because she had been round to ours and he decided to take her all the way home, 3 buses, almost 2hr round trip because he felt it was the right thing to do rather than take her to the town centre and just see her onto her own bus at 10pm.

JKettlesbury · 03/02/2011 21:25

the teenage years must be run like a tight ship in order to keep dicipline
i recall suspecting my eldest of cannabanoid use when i heard some "rap" music comming from his bedroom, a clear sign of cannabanoid use. beat some sense into him i did! until my dear husband came back to truly set him back on the straight and narrow with a quick few lashings with a legnth of hose
thats how we did it back in tose days though! and he is no longer addicted to the reefer!

FellatioNelson · 04/02/2011 11:57

Well I have an eighteen year old whose natural default setting is to be a 'glass half empty' person - private, deep, serious, moody, argumentative and curmudgeonly. He came out like that! He could be a stubborn and difficult child, emotionally, when he was little.

But he is also delightfully polite and respectful to others, sensible, responsible, highly conscientious, and all-round pretty much perfect as teenagers go. He has never once given me any real grief.

I have another son of nearly sixteen, who up until very recently was a 'glass half full' person - a happy go-lucky, 'hail fellow well met' all-round Mr Popular sort of boy - everybody's friend. He was an easy, happy, affectionate child, and a joy to be with.

And he is turning into the teenager from hell quite honestly. He is mixing with completely the wrong crowd, (drawn to the 'excitement' ) making me and his father worried sick on weekly basis, I'm in and out of the headmaster's office so often I've worn my own groove into the guest seat. He just seems intent on rejecting everything our family stands for, in favour of a bunch of arseholes with a one-way ticket to prison written in their stars. All the lovely qualities he was born with are disappearing fast and I when I look at him it's like I'm looking at my son's face but there is a stranger inside, and I can't fathom how or why it happened, or what the fucking hell I am supposed to do about it. Obviously, I'm completely blaming myself, because thats' what mothers do.

turningvioletviolet · 04/02/2011 18:53

We have ds (14 next week) who seems to be pretty much ok so far although i do realise that we still have a fair way to go and we're not quite out of the woods yet!

In the main he's good company and pleasant to be around, and actually appears to like spending time with us (despite me being the most embarrassing mother on the planet. We have on occasion been told that he's a credit to us, although I suspect (know) that is more luck than judgement.

And I have a rather strong inkling that we won't be in for such an easy ride with his sisters (aged 10 and 4).

Catsmamma · 04/02/2011 18:56

Mine are generally nice and likeable! They talk to us, know how to work the washer, eldest will pick up siblings from school in his car

It's all in the training, they don't wake up like it!

TheVisitor · 04/02/2011 19:00

My 18 year old lad is lovely, and has been consistently throughout his teens. I've always encouraged him to be open with us and he is, as much as I want him to be anyway. He texts me to let me know what time he'll be back from the pub,makes a cracking brew etc. I'm wondering how it'll be with the triplets. 12 next month.

giveemahug · 05/02/2011 09:04

My lovely 16 yr old is at boarding school, which with hindsight, has made it more difficult for him to make friends. He doesn't have friends locally, because of where his previous school was they are about 20min drive away - and now that his brother is off at Uni, he is a bit lost and lonely during the holidays. Has anyone got any suggestions about how to encourage him to reach out locally (we're in London) and make some friends or get involved in an activity? He is quite sporty and friendly but only wants to do things if he's with someone he knows.

MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay · 05/02/2011 12:14

I have four...
Both girls (19 +16) pretty easy really. Usual untidiness and odd strop but nothing major and mostly are very nice to live with.
DS1 18.. charming but has had a vile temper which peaked at about 15..he was awful, got in trouble etc etc but is now coming round again and I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. He's not perfect but he's mine...:)
DS2 nearly 14 and still wonderful at the mo....!

Four very different personalities but with the same parenting.. suggest to me that while how we have parented has been vital, there is an element of personality which overrides it.. I think the girls would have been pretty good anyway, and I think DS1 would have been a handful whatever, as he was born with a wicked glint in his eye:)
I love having teens.. so much fun and companionship!

DurhamDurham · 05/02/2011 12:28

Mine teen girls are on the whole lovely. They're v v funny, polite and interested in other people. They have their moments (especially 13 yr old) but no aggression, ASBO's, binge drinking or shoplifting. Or if there is they are v good at hiding it

We all go out for dinner together, we chat all the time. They are v good company.

However it is still lovely to have the house to yourselves when they are both at sleepovers/parties. Because it is a bit like having lodgers (who don't pay any rent) living with you. When they are teenagers it is hard to get any privacy.....they stay up late (esp on a weekend), they take over your kitchen and empty your fridge on a daily basis!
I am dreading the day when they leave home

cat64 · 05/02/2011 20:00

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springlamb · 05/02/2011 20:09

I have a teenage DS who is a total pain especially at the moment when he should be revising. Also happens to be disabled.
I signed him up for a SN group and when we went along I was really worried about the number of NT teenagers who seemed to be hanging around in the hall, the tea room etc.
After a couple of weeks I realised that these teenagers were volunteers and each SN teenager had an assigned 'friend' to smooth the way for them.
They are absolutely brilliant young people, from all walks of life. They are kind, caring, funny, interesting, and they give me faith in the future.

PixieOnaLeaf · 05/02/2011 20:10

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