Nearly 13

[bella102]

I have always tried to bring my DD up to have manners, and respect etc. Now She is acting like a Spoiled, Selfish, Self Centered and arrogant human being.

Its ALL about her, about what she can get. When I put my foot down, its "Im going to live with my dad" (As we arent together etc) When she cant get her own way Her SD gets, "Your not my dad" "You cant tell me what to do" Yet her SD has a better father than her own. Not that I would say that to her.

I really dont know how to deal with this. I talk to her about it, but there is no rational thinking on her part. She gets it in her head and there is no shifting her ideas.

I suffer from depression,though I am not low all the time. But instances like this really do knock me for six, and I slide down. I already feel inadequate about myself, And my DD knows all this, but still throws things at me.

TY in advance

Dear Bella,

Please do not feel inadequate about yourself and believe me when I say you are not alone. I am sure that you have raised her perfectly well but she has now turned into a selfish teenager, most of this is probably down to hormones or wanting more freedom. She knows she can get you so that she can have her way, but if you try and ignore her and stick to your guns (believe me I know how hard that is)she may realise. I find ranting at my work colleagues makes this a little easier, so could you do this or get your GP to refer you to counselling. Our DD is 14 and has been like this for the last 18 months and believe me when I say we have had the last 18 months of hell. She is very much like your daughter and possibly and surely an awful lot worse. We have just come away from a review meeting with Social Services, CAHMS, Connexions and school not only DD's school but my son's. Since SS became involved 6 months ago we have not really moved forward, there is often conflict in the house with DD swearing and shouting at us (mainly DH) and at times physically violent, she seems to think life owes her something and she wants more freedom, being out late at night in the pitch dark etc (late being 10.00/11.00pm) she does not know how to compromise on anything. As a result this is having an impact on our younger DS who is 8 with SS stating that they are very worried about his emotional well being because he has heard DD tell DH to go die. It is extremely hard parenting teens and I do get very stressed with headaches, so you are not alone, just remember and say to yourself it will pass and don't take all the credit but equally do not take all the blame. I do not wish what we are going through with DD on anyone and keep trying to be positive.

Hope things get easier

Gosh Maryz I try to do this on a daily basis, tiring isn't it.

Typically came back from the said meeting above and try a new start and the trust thing with DD. She asked for £5.00 to go and get her tea from the Kabab van by sainsburys as not had time to organise tea and to be honest hardly eats with us anyway, for her to do a disappearing act. Spookily the phone has been either switched off or turned directly to voice mail. At what point should I stop counting to. Await to see what time she reappears.

No surprise here, have found out that DD took our £5 and spent it on the bus fare and train fare to see said boyfriend, because this is the first opportunity that she has had any money to do so. will wait in baited breath to see what plausible excuse she comes up with. Still counting by the way, sure I will soon have little voices in my head, need those imaginary sheep featured on tv.