How do I stop DS from being a creep??

[codsworth]

DS is coming upto 12 now and is at the stage where he's developing huge crushes on random girls. Thing is, he doesn't just leave it at a crush, he starts to practically stalk them, posting song lyrics all over their facebook walls, posting love-sick lyrics on his own facebook, engaging in private message telling girls how they're breaking his heart and he won't stop until they see how good he is for them etc. He's been threatened by one boy who took offense to DS developing a mad crush on his girlfriend and not leaving her alone. He's getting a reputation of being a bit of a creep :( he's always been like this though, even when he was 7 he became fixated on a malaysian girl from school and would follow her around, write things about her etc. He becomes obsessed with people. I've tried talking to him but it does no good. Do I just leave him to find out the hard way??

Bump

Get him off facebook, he's too young. Get him to join a group like scouts or martial arts.

Might he benefit from counselling, or a chat with a trusted teacher? Sounds like he needs help understanding the effects of his actions on others but won't listen to you because you're his mum.

Facebook not appropriate for him.

I doubt you can talk him out of these feelings but you need to firmly, although not unkindly, explain to him why this behaviour is not acceptable socially, and won't have the hoped-for result.

And be prepared to keep explaining and be patient. He will probably still be a bit this way though until he outgrows it.

Seriously, you need to step in, he needs these ideas about romantic love quashing at such a young age. Close his facebook account down until he is old enough to use it.

Good idea to focus his mind on other activities.

Oh yes, good idea to arrange a chat with someone else so that it is not just coming from you. Someone he respects.

Good on you for recognising it needs sorting, btw. Lots would bottle it and just put heads in sand.

My son 13 was writing stuff about a girl he liked on Facebook that I thought wasn't ok, so I told him that it has to stop lucky (as far as I know) it has. I do check his account( wall) every now again to make sure everything is ok. If it was me then I would go with the rest and tell him you will take the account off if he doesn't listen to what you are asking.

He is too young for face book and it seems this kind of 'adult' behaviour.

You do really need to step in and teach him how inappropriate it is all is and then set about a plan on how to woo someone and then to take no for an answer.

Kids eh

The trouble with banning FB is that they go underground, By that I mean they delete their account and start a new one you don't know anything about. This happened to two friends of DDs. Better to know and be friends with them and have a quiet word IMO

And control Internet usage so what Quatt says doesn't happen.

The trouble with websites like that is that there is nothing to really do apart from flirt and be inappropriate. And at 12 you don't really have the social skills to do it.

Have you told him girls will be wary and call him a creep? Maybe you need to be honest.

He needs his dad or an older teenager to clap hiim on the shoulder, pull a wincing expression and say "Dude! Too full on, mate. Not cool, not cool."

agree... you need to be blunt with him and tell him why it isn't ok to do this...

agree with thisisyesterday, give it to him like it is, explain to him about how he's scaring girls and needs to be more laid-back, it's kind of creepy isn't it, he's only twelve. DS has a boy in his year he sayd stalks theese year7 girls that are in my DD opinion in this wierd, unpopular girls with pants that are too short for them. my ds says he stalks them home and rings them up and waits for them at the gates. be honest with yourself do you want your son to tun out like that, because in the end, he might.
talk to him, tell him to get out more, go out with his friends to the park and go to their houses to play x-box. Just give it to him straight. he needs it.

Might help if he had a male role model give him a heads up.