Twin Sons who are very quiet at school

[allyre]

Hi everyone. This is my first time posting, so please bear with me. I have twin 15 year old sons and I am really worried about them. They used to be have a lot of friends but since they started secondary school they have become very introverted. They really only have one friend, both at school and out of school. As far as I know they don't talk much to the other kids at school either. They really don't want to go out other than school - they are addicted to the xbox and computer. What can I do. I tried to get them involved in afterschool activities - but they had to be dragged there and refused to go back. I try to build their confidence and to be honest they are very happy. They say none of this bothers them. It's me that is worrying myself sick. They have an older brother who was a bit similar who now has lots of friends. I just worry they won't ever make friends. Any help would be much appreciated.

Are they in different forms/houses?
If not, perhaps they could be.
What do the form tutors say?
When you say they have one friend does that mean each son has one friend each or one other friend is friendly with both sons? If one friend for both that is interesting as how do conversations happen? Does each boy actually get a conversation with a friend at all or does each boy get half a conversation?
I am thinking their separate personalities will be developing and this needs encouraging. Otherwise they are in their own little world and might continue to be.

Hi, they have basically one friend who is a friend to both of them. They are in nearly all the same classes with the exception of English. Every school report we have had in the last few years has said how quiet they are. They do struggle with some subjects at school, which might not help matters.

The Multiple Birth Foundation has a lot of useful advice.

Try and get DS1 and DS2 put in different forms and different houses- if not this year then next year.

If DS1 and DS2 look alike then perhaps they should wear badges with their names on so that teachers and other boys can distinguish them.

At home split them up so that they get separate time with parents eg DS1 goes with mum, DS2 goes with dad on a sunday or DS1 to grandparents one week and DS2 the following week. When doing chores, take one son not both. This is to give each son the chance of a whole conversation.

If they are struggling they might benefit from an educational psychology assessment. This is best done sooner than later. Ensure the assessments are at different times for each child.

At parents evening insist on separate discussion times for each son. You have two children, not a double child (if you see what I mean)

hope this helps

Thanks for that. We have always treated them separately and although they are non identical, they do look very alike. We do not ever refer to them as twins nor have we -we definitely see them as two individual boys with individual personalities. They had to do a work experience week recently and went to two separate placements, but I think they found this hard. I know they are going to have to go their own separate ways one day. I am just really worried about their social skills.

The work experience thing sounds the way to go.
Their social skills can't develop if they do everything together. You are on the right track though.

try this site

www.multiplebirths.org.uk/