why would a 17 year old girl be interested in a not very mature 13 year old boy?

[basildonbond]

that's it really ... I've found out that ds1 is exchanging dozens of mildly flirtatious texts and facebook messages with a 17 year old girl - not sure if he's actually ever met her

most of these exchanges are instigated by the girl

Now, looking back to when I was 17 I cannot imagine even being aware of 13 year old boys, they were sooooo immature they were of no interest whatsover

ds1 has not yet gone through puberty - on his way, but voice not broken, no growth spurt, no facial hair etc etc so no-one would mistake him for being anything other than a 13 year old ...

am puzzled ....

I agree that supervision is the key. DS (a little younger than the OPs) only goes on the computer when there is someone around to keep an eye on him - I don't mean sitting watching him all the time, but in the same room and with the screen visible. Technically it's my computer so he doesn't have the password and has to be logged on by me or his Dad; which might be a bit extreme but at least we know what he is doing.

he doesn't have a laptop so uses the family computer in the living room and after the marathon texting session he has to leave his phone downstairs

the whole facebook thing has come about surprisingly quickly - he wasn't interested at all only a short while ago and has only had an account since his 13th birthday

he is on my friends' list (the only reason I'm on facebook as I don't really use it) but he doesn't do anything really on his wall - it's all through messaging and mainly chat - so I have no idea what he's saying or who he's talking to - I'm fairly sure it's pretty inane stuff but at the moment don't really know how to make sure

Justin Bieber lookalike?

Justin Bieber lookalike?

He is 13.
IMHO you need to stop worrying about offending his notions of privacy.

If my son at that age refused to explain who someone was and shouted at me about invasion of privacy he would have no phone or computer access for a while. Until he got a fucking grip at any rate.

And 800 friends is ridiculous. He is clearly not operating even a modicum of control.
You should step in. His over reaction is nit a good sign -even teenagers do not become over emotional about legitimate friendships.