Whatever you say, it's doubtful that she will actually stop seeing him. She will probably think she is in love with him, and the more you tell her not to do it, it will seem like an attractive option.
12 is, I think exceptionally young, but then we are told all the time that kids are growing up sooner.
I had a very similar situation. Met my (now dh) when i was 11, became his gf - to my parents horror! - when I was 13. And they reacted much the same was as you have - understandably now, but at the time I thought they were trying to "ruin my life". My dh was 19 at the time. So those of you saying paedo about this lad, I feel, are being very harsh - I know I was a child, but I didn't feel like it - i felt so grown up, and like I knew everything! and i certainly didn't look like a 13 year old. I had started my periods at 11, and had breasts and acted maturely. I had always spent more time with adults, than other people my own age, which i also feel was a factor.
I also feel similarly to the poster who says that she felt like her mum hated her. I felt like my mum hated me, and I certainly hated her (at the time) we couldn't even look at each other without one of us saying something nasty! - and even now I think we were both to blame for that.
This I feel is important, as I have never, and still don't have the kind of relationship with my mum where I could talk to her about things.
They tried to stop me seeing him, but I lied, i sneaked out, you name it, I did it.
And I was a good student at school, and up to this point "a good girl", but I loved this person!
My dad realised I was lying etc, and knew I would continue to do so, so we all got together, and they said we could see each other, at my house only and only a little to begin with. i wasn't allowed out with him, unless we all went. And we weren't allowed to be alone together.
They obviously thought that he would soon get bored of this and find a more exciting prospect closer to his own age. Tbh I don't know why he didn't!
Things went well like this for about 18 months, and so my parents decided to go a bit easier on us, and I was allowed to go to his (he still lived at home) as long as his mother would "supervise" us. She said she would but didn't and I fell pg about 3 months later, with my now 14 year old ds1.
My parents will not speak to his family - especially his mother, and family gatherings are a nightmare.
I lived at home, finished school and finally married dh when i was 16. This was 13 years ago next week and we now have another four beautiful children and are very happy.
Things didn't get better with my mum until about a year after I moved out. i love my mum and I know that she loves me, but I still couldn't talk to her if I had problems.
I don't want my children to feel like this. If they had a problem, I want them to tell me first!
However I really don't know what they could have done differently in this situation, and I do feel bad for what we put them through.
oh and just to clarify, the pg was an accident, and certainly not planned. A condom split, and then the morning after pill didn't work. Note that I say accident, but not mistake.
I really wish you the best with your daughter, and feel for you in this difficult situation.
I just saw a lot of paralells with my own life and wanted to talk to you about it. xxx