15 yo dd underwear issue

[MissSayuri]

Ok, might be overreacting but my 15 yo dd came home from late night shopping last night and had bought herself some bits and pieces with left over Christmas money including a new bra. When she came in parading her new stuff I couldn't help but notice that her chest looked MASSIVE. She has a lovely size 8 figure and quite an ample 30C chest but all I could look at was how enormous they looked.
It turns out the new bra has inflatable inserts! Of course she just rolled her eyes at me when I said she had no need for those, she already has a lovely shape. I could understand and sympathise if she was struggling in that department but she's not. I now have a tentative plan to sabotage the bra with scissors when she puts it in the wash! AIBU?

Having a nightmare with DD 14, she is a 34/34 D Cup and will only wear double padded bra's which make her look bigger, not only this but she no longer wears the girlie pants, she is buying lacy ones or thong type ones that she gets when out with friends in Primark or Peacocks. I am noticing that these ones are getting more and more use whilst the others remain in the draw. I am considering loosing these in the next wash, but dread the fall out. It this just a phase, she says she is not sexually active, but her behaviour over the last 18 months with constant lies, I just do not believe her, only saving grace at the moment is that she is having regular periods. Would be so much happier if she would have an implant but will not have one.

Dd 1 is 15 with an ample chest (unlike me ) She also bought a padded bra and looked like she was about to fall out

Luckily she doesn't wear it often.

On the plus side she refuses to wear thongs and insists material is not supposed to be up your bum

So glad it's not just me. I feel I've failed as a parent as she seems to be entirely consumed by the way she looks at the moment. It makes me so sad. She's a bright girl and I have always tried to instil confidence in her with regards to her looks but I hate to think she's feeling bad about her body shape. You hear about girls wanting boob jobs at 16, is this how it starts, with silly inflatable Primark bras?? bangs head against wall

My dd has small ones - bless her. But she's resisting the double padded bras so far. She's more concerned with slimming her calves to fit into her jeggings lol

I had huge boobs at 16 but i still bought an air filled bra! In my case it was just a bit of fun. and i wanted to try out adult underwear and I could do it in primark for a tenner! It wasn't because I didn't like my body, it was because it made me feel good about myself! I think she'll grow out of it. Its kind of exciting when you're that young and you're getting a womanly figure. I remember feeling all grown up and smug wearing french knickers under my school uniform, and it genuinely had nothing to do with boys! I wouldn't worry too much, as long as she's keeping her clothes on over it!

By the way, if my mum had hacked my bra in the wash I would definitely have known it was her... and gone out and bought 5 more just to piss her of!

Try not to stress- my dd wore orange foundation for a year and backcombed her hair. She grew out of it.

Omg don't the orange ones look so funny.

I'm with Maryz. DD2 has a selection of padded bras and could knock you over from twenty paces if she turned quickly.

I just keep my mouth shut. She likes them, and it's underwear so a bit on the personal side for me to be making remarks about. I try not to be negative with the DDs about what they wear. If something they buy doesn't work out it's their decision and their money, and they can deal with the repercussions themselves.

They are under a lot of pressure in the clothing department with all the other girls engaging in the sport of competitive dressing during the teen years, and I think the last thing they need is a mother taking things too seriously too, albeit from a different pov. I do occasionally ask her to hoik up whatever top she's wearing over the humongous bras though.

Why exactly do you want to sabotage it?

what do u think it will acheive?

Is it for her benefit or yours, I'm not having a go honestly but there is no real advantage of you doing this and will probs end is a massive row,
Its a difficult time for her and its just competetive dressing.

My rents very strict, came home with padded bra's , g-strings the lot they just rolled there eyes and made a joke, its the best way to deal with it.

It's a phase. I used to be desparate to have bigger boobs and tried every ridiculous boob-enhancing bra I could find. I grew out of it and am definitely NOT image obsessed now! :)

I posted a recent tread about the problem I have with DDs underwear tastes. Hers is a bit weird as she has decided to force herself into control knickers at the age of 15. But whether it's inflatable bras of sucked in waists it's all about wanting to change your body shape to try and conform to a stereo type. I was unhappy as I wanted my daughter to be happy with her shape, she isn't overweight but she's not a stick insect either, she's just normal. I would be unhappy with an inflatable bra but I remember stuffing toilet paper into my 30AAA trainer bra when I was 12 but i did this out of wanting to be as advanced as my friends (who were probably all stuffing tissue as well). At 12 there was not sexual motive the problem is at 15 things are not so clear cut. For now i'd just let it run it's course' it's probably just a fad. Hopefully she will take the scissors to it herself when she sees how dumb it looks!!!!

What's wrong with a little confidence boosting for DDs? It's important for teenage girls, whether we like it or not, to project an image of sophistication to their peers - the ways they choose to do it might seem silly, but they are the ones in the trenches.

DD2 has a friend who is forbidden from wearing tight jeans, makeup, anything stylish basically on a daily basis; she hasn't a lot of confidence when faced with occasions when it's important to dress up (several families we know have thrown quite lavish parties, formal dinners, etc., for their daughters' 16th birthdays) - this particular friend didn't own a pair of high heel shoes and trusted DD to go shopping with her to find a pair to get her through the party year, and to do her hair and apply a little makeup before the parties they were both going to. I had to beg DD2 to restrain herself with the makeup or the friend mightn't be allowed to leave the house. Imo, it's a pity pity her own mother couldn't or wouldn't teach her a few makeup tricks and go with her to buy a pair of shoes.

I would take her for proper bra fitting
no way size 8 has bra size 30, as soon as she gets her bra fitted well she would be 28 with larger cups and no need for inflatable inserts

I meant chest size :)

I was being flippant about the 'sabotage' plan by the way. I know that wouldn't solve the problem!
Also, she has been fitted and is definitely a size 8 and a 30" chest, I think it's because she's a keen swimmer though. As a well endowed woman I am a real stickler for proper bra fitting!
Also, I don't disagree with confidence boosting for girls at all, but I just don't necessarily think it has to be encouraged by bra size/shape/make up etc. While the rest of the world seems to judge girls on this basis, I like our home to be a refuge where she'll never be merited or judged on something as unimportant as breast size. I'm sure most of you are right, and it's a wee phase.
Thanks for the input :)

kayah

_ my friend is a size 6/8 and has a 32 back size, but she is pretty tall bout 5'9 and broad shoulders etc.

Miss Sayuri , glad you feel more resolved.

walkinZombie
I am size 20 and wear bra size 34, hence my comments