Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

16yo DS wants to go to Norfolk after GCSEs. Yes or No?

30 replies

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 20/01/2011 15:12

Posting for a friend as luckily I've got a couple of years yet before DS1 asks me things like this.

BFs DS1 wants to go with a group of friends to a music 'thing' on the beach at Newquay in the summer. I gather it's a known/famous event. Her immediate reaction is 'not a chance' whereas her DH is more inclined to agree with it, with provisos. She knows that she can too strict and PFB so asked me (far more lax and negligent in my parenting habits Wink) to get another POV. My initial reaction is 'not in a thousand years', but this is based entirely on what I've seen on TV...

Does anyone have actual RL experience of this? Is it really just an excuse for under-aged drinking and bad behaviour, or is it the case that a minority has given the event a bad name?

I'm sure I've seen MNers posting on here who live in the area who hate it.

Any POV good or bad would be much appreciated! TIA Smile

OP posts:
BCBG · 20/01/2011 15:18

I think you mean Cornwall. Depends on the lad, my eldest ds and friends first started looking for this sort of independence at this age and it was fine. However, I would personally prefer them to attend the V Festival first as the crowd and atmosphere is pretty benign. My nephew went to Newquay last summer and had. Great time including getting laid for the first time so she needs to make sure her channels of communication are well and truly open! Having said all that, yes, on balance I would let him go.

rubyrubyruby · 20/01/2011 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 20/01/2011 15:21

Yeah, yeah Cornwall I'm an idiot Blush

OP posts:
Ponders · 20/01/2011 15:21

I was surprised at Norfolk! Grin

Newquay can get pretty hairy in the summer I think - I wouldn't let 16-yr-olds go. BCBG is tight, something like V would be preferable.

(are they all using the line "everybody else's parents have said yes" by any chance?)

scurryfunge · 20/01/2011 15:22

My DS is intent on going (Newquay is not in Norfolk though, so they may feel a bit lonely Smile).

I have said no as I do think it is an excuse for mass rowdiness and drunken behaviour. At the moment I have agreed to a holiday abroad with a couple of his friends instead (excluding Ibiza and the like, which is just the same as Cornwall, imo).

Ponders · 20/01/2011 15:22

oh dear, sorry, BCBG isn't tight, she's right!!!

Original poster
MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 20/01/2011 15:22

Oh god, I can't mention him having sex - she would go ballistic (no drink, no smoking, no girls)

OP posts:
BCBG · 20/01/2011 15:23

'tight' Ponders, how very dare you! Grin

WillieWaggledagger · 20/01/2011 15:24

when my brother was the same age a few years ago and wanted to go with friends my parents allowed him but they (my parents) stayed with friends a few miles away while he rented out a flat with all his friends (he wasn't pleased about my parents staying nearby though). otherwise it would have been a 6-hour drive if something had gone wrong

they had to pay a huuuuuuge deposit but had a great time. lots of drunkeness but no major mishaps. one boy ended up in MIU after getting a cut from broken glass but the boys sorted this out themselves and my parents didn;t find out until later

as BCBG said, depends on the lads themselves

Ponders · 20/01/2011 15:24

oh dear, am sat here laughing helplessly at that typo Grin

Original poster
MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 20/01/2011 15:25

I suggested that she suggested an alternative, but apparently he's set on whatever this thing is (friend of a friend is the promoter)

Am running off for the school run, but thanks for the posts so far Smile

OP posts:
TheReturnoftheSmartArse · 20/01/2011 15:31

Oh God, DD (16) is going to the Reading Festival with friends after her GCSEs this summer. I don't suppose I'll sleep for 3 days for worrying ...

AMumInScotland · 20/01/2011 15:35

No personal experience of Newquay, but plenty of experience of being a teenager. There will be drinking - lots of it. There will be stupidity - again, lots of it. There will be sex - or at least lots of lads looking for it, and a smaller number of girls who'll consider it, some of whom might later regret it.

Even if this lad doesn't drink a drop (unlikely but theoretically possible!) he will still be surrounded by drunken idiots.

I wouldn't let my DS (17) go, as I don't think he has the self-confidence and self-reliance needed to be surrounded by idiots and not go with the flow.

Ponders · 20/01/2011 15:35

my DS went to Leeds after his GCSEs, TheReturnoftheSmartArse - right after, in fact, it's the weekend of results Thursday so all a bit frantic, but dozens of them went from school, boys & girls, all had a good time, no problems.

The worst bits are dropping off & picking up - nightmare - see if she's willing to go by coach, it'll save you hours!

coatgate · 20/01/2011 15:37

Grin I was going to say thank goodness it is Norfolk not Newquay....

TheReturnoftheSmartArse · 20/01/2011 16:00

Thanks for the advice, Ponders. To be honest, I expect she'll make her own arrangements for getting there as there is a group of them going. And it should be easy enough from where we live by train, I think. I am already feeling anxious, though, despite the fact that she's very sensible, her friends are like-minded and I know I have to let her go sometime!

Original poster
MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 20/01/2011 16:07

They offered to drop (which they won't actually do, it's a horrible drive from London) just to see his reaction and he was pretty horrified and insisted the train would be fine...

He has actually done the 'all the other parents say yes' spiel. She's fairly sceptical about that, but thinks she'll insist on a parental get together beforehand and see what the real view is from the other parents.

OP posts:
IloveJudgeJudy · 20/01/2011 16:07

I would let my DS1 go away with his friends, but not to Newquay (would let him go to Norfolk!)Wink. He's taking his GCSEs this year, but since mentioning something last year hasn't mentioned anything else. I'm keeping quiet atm.

Ponders · 20/01/2011 16:23

"He has actually done the 'all the other parents say yes' spiel. She's fairly sceptical about that, but thinks she'll insist on a parental get together beforehand and see what the real view is from the other parents."

They will all have done the spiel. They are all lying! Grin

Original poster
MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 20/01/2011 16:50

I wouldn't be surprised!

OP posts:
GetOrfMoiLand · 20/01/2011 17:01

Lughing loudly at Norfolk mistake. Yay big up the teenage beach parties in Kings Lynn Grin

I would in no way let dd go on a post-GCSE piss up to Newquay. Non negotiable.

exexpat · 20/01/2011 17:07

Post-GCSE trips with friends are fine IMO - I went off for a week with a friend at 15 - but stories like this one - Cliff Death - would worry me about Newquay specifically.

Every year there are reports about drunken teenagers doing stupid and occasionally lethal things there - last year a whole load of parents from Bristol were called down by the police to collect their underage and drunken offspring.

It really depends on how mature and responsible the boy is, but anyone can get caught up in the atmosphere and do stupid things. I think serious talks about safety and responsibility would be absolutely essential before he went, and if it were me I would be worrying all week - but I suppose it is a rite of passage.

(Three and half years before mine does GCSEs. Yikes.)

Original poster
MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 20/01/2011 17:18

Thanks for that link exexpat, we were talking about cliffs last night actually. Wasn't there also a craze for diving off them deliberately?

He is by all accounts pretty damn sensible, but then again, the face you show your parents isn't necessarily the one you use with your mates.

Thanks for all the advice, it is appreciated and I shall pass it on to BF for her to mull over Smile

OP posts:
lazymumofteenagesons · 20/01/2011 19:30

My son went to Newquay after GCSEs 3 years ago. I just told him to keep out of the sea. I was more worried about him going swimming while drunk than anything else.

They all survived. Went by coach (megabus) from victoria. But we lost the deposit on the rented flat (well it was called a pod?) cos they left it in such a mess. Difficult to rent somewhere for under 18s.

But depends on the child. Mine has always been quite a serious child. I let him go to Reading festival after yr 10 at 15 and he also went to festival in spain after GCSEs at 16. Some of the stories he came back with are quite something but they are all still here and it does make them more independent and gives them a chance to learn how to deal with problems on their own like the odd trip to A&E!

Swipe left for the next trending thread