Moving at secondary school age?

[InterestedInMoving]

I have also posted on Relationships, I am quite concerned about making a mistake and hurting the children.

I want to move out of my current area. I am a single Mum to two secondary school kids. I have been limited by a final court hearing for finances after a divorce which is coming up. I have my house just on the market, things were complicated and the sale last year fell through due to local problems that are now resolved, last buyer pulled out due to the local problems at the time.

I have found a home to buy, and investigated secondary schools for the kids. The problem is that all the spaces for the kids are taken up, it is over five miles to the only school that has 1 space for the older child. I can appeal obviously, no idea how to. So I feel I am gambling with my kids future and their education .

I want to move out of the area for me, mostly and for us as well. I hate being in this area as it has bad memories and links to former abuse and if I am honnest I feel ashamed locally, and humiliated partly due to me and partly due to abusers. I feel that I would be able to feel free to grow further (have worked on myself through therapy) elsewhere better than here, and I would feel safer too. I also fear that my children have been stigmatissed also. They have both recovered from the hell our life was, and the older one has good friendships, and they are happy at school, which is basically the only thing holding us here, their school and friendships. I see my few people not that often, and not all live locally, so travelling would make no difference to me, also work for me has no hold, so for me it does not matter where I live.

I am scared that the kids will not be happy, that they have been through enough, and I will mess up their schooling.

If it all works out with the school/friends, then we will move to an area where I will be able to afford a home the same size as the one we are in now and not have to move again, and have a very tiny mortgage, so a nice lifestyle. If I stay locally, I will have to move twice, due to loss of maintenance and move to tiny properties in not great condition, and have massive mortgages and not a great quality of life due to financial restrictions.

I am scared at the moment as it is a big gamble and it is not me that will have the consequences, it will be them, be it good or bad, it is a gamble and I am not that sort of person!

My gut instinct is investigate appealing and move.

Ok, you think it is a good idea to move anyways, thank you.

I just get the impression from your post that your current location is categorically not where you want to be, no matter how worried you are about your DC's schooling/friendships, and that you and your children would be better off with a fresh start.

A fab school in an area where you're stressed, living in less-that-ideal conditions and worrying about making ends meet is still probably going to result in unhappy kids who aren't reaching their full potential.

How old are your DCs? Are you looking at disrupting them during GCSE courses?

We are going before GCSE years, thankfully.

I need to hold on to the thoughts that being better off financially and not having to constantly move, and living in an area that makes me feel secure is what I need to be a good parent, thank you.

i ha dthe same quandy as you about moving ds2 ha djust gone into Y8 and in the end we moved and yes he did find it hard at first and yep I struggled to get him a school place had to appeal ( schools hold own lists locally )

But ds 2 has said recentley he so glad w emoved and that he now prefers it here wa sthe fear of the unknown.He still keeps up with friends via Fb etc

goingroundthebend, thank you so much for sharing your experience.

How long was he homeschooled for before you got a place via appeal? What did you use to appeal with? I don't fully understand what they are saying on the paperwork online about the appeals process. They say things like you can have someone for support, no solicitors, no councellors. That they have to meet this need etc, but the needs seem more about finances and the schools than the children needing educating?

I will bring kids back here from time to time to see old friends and yes there is fb .

I am so glad you had a good experience in the end.

We moved the summer I was 11 and my sis was 13. I went from juniors in one county, to 1st year scondary 200 miles away. I obviously wasn't the only new person, and I wasn't the only one who didn't know anybody/hadn't come from a feeder primary. Fitted in just grand, settled down really quickly.

My poor sis had to go straight into 3rd year, and had a really hard time. Bullying for one (we had strong Essex accents at the time, and moved to rural Derbyshire. It's fair to say we did stand out a bit). They also didn't immediately adhere to the sets etc she'd been in for maths/English etc.

We didn't have a choice in the move (Dad's job changed), but we did have some input in the choice of school (namely refusal to go to the all girls school!).

I know the decision caused a lot of heartache for mum and dad at the time, but looking back, even with what they went through with my sis/what she herself went through, it was the right choice. Must've been - they're still in the same house 23 years later, and my sis has moved the grand total of 1.5 miles!

I don't know if any of that is helpful to you. From your post though it sounds like the move is vital to you. I wish you well with your decision.

We moved in January and took 7 weeks to get him into school .

Dd i had to take her to a school 6 miles away till could get her in to primary .That i got just before apeal as they knew only school and that since only 12 dc live local to it they was going to lose so caved before hand.

Can you find out if the school is Lea controlled so you need to apply to them or if its a school where they set own admission critera.

I had to write to the school and say why i wanted a place .Why there was nowhere else suitable .Then went in for a meeting to appela board consisting of head and govenors.you alsonee dto be able to say why another schoolnot suitable .For this look at how they would get there.

Got my answer 10 days after that.If its Lea controlled then you have do similar but there be someone from lea there

Thank you both so much for your experience.

Cock, how long did it take for your older sister to settle in and get the bullying sorted?

Going, I take it when going to appeal that they have to take into account the distance and journey that your child has to go to school then? so it is about the child and not all about the school then? So did you use the distance/travel thing then? and specialism of the school?

Post on the Secondary education area there are experts on appeal there who can advise you. The criteria for an appeal is that your child will be more disadvantage by not gaining a place than the other children will be by one extra child in the class. So important issues are how over crowded classes are, and the physical size of classrooms and the school. It might be worth buying "How to win your school appeal".

Good luck!