DS is convinced he is hard done by - he hasn't got a clue!!!!

[PurpleLostPrincess]

He's 16 and at college. He's a good lad with a great bunch of mates and a gf that we get on with.

He has a motorbike (50cc) and was using it up until the snow came, DH has been servicing it and it's nearly ready to go back on the road. In the meantime DS is constantly asking me for lifts. If I'm going out, I don't mind. Sometimes if he's going to work I don't mind either - depending on what I'm up to, how I feel (have been poorly), and what busses are available. I used to be a soft touch but I've hardened up, mainly because of the price of fuel, but also because he has to learn to be independent!

So, this morning, he knows I'm doing the school run with DD1, he asks me for bus fare (his wages are late going into the bank). I gave him a fiver as there was also no food in the house for his lunch.
I go on the school run. Just as I pull up at the house he rings me and asks for a lift 'because it's raining' and he doesn't want to get wet!!!!! . I explain that I've only just got back from a round trip and that no, I'm in pain and need to get in the house and rest. He comes out of the front door as I'm coming in - no coat because he can't find his kagool and doesn't want to wear his big coat (long running thing that I'm sure I'm not alone in!). He's all puppy eyed begging me for a lift but I stand my ground.

Then, he texts me to say he missed the bus (the bus stop is about 100yds away from our house). He then posts on fb that he has no food and no drink and 6 lessons today. I post that he should stop feeling sorry for himself and that I gave him a fiver! He says he's not feeling sorry for himself and that he has missed the bus and if I'd taken him earlier he would have been on time. I remind him that he could have come with me on the school run - no answer.

I just needed to vent really, he's doing my head in with the self pity!!! I know it's all normal teenage behaviour but arrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Thanks for listening lol!

You did great to stand your ground, well done! Teens have to learn to take responsibility and that will often mean they learn the hard way ie putting themselves in a position of discomfort (no coat, no food). I try not to get into a debate with them, just make clear what I expect and that I will be disappointed if they chose to ignore. If they have any conscience, they might eventually do the right thing!

yes, it's all normal; & you did everything right this morning, good for you! (Make sure you get his bus fare back though...)

The coat attitude improves with age IME - DS2 will be 18 soon & does wear his at last. also gloves and a woolly hat sometimes

I try not to get into debates too gardening mama - they are so good at needling though, aren't they? The dear things

You did right ..ds never gets a lift to college and I often laugh at his fb moaning ..bless them

Thank you, glad to hear some support and know that we're not alone! Like I say, he's a good kid and we normally communiate well, especially considering he's 16. He started wearing his coat when the cold weather/snow hit before Christmas so I thought we were getting somewhere, but alas it's clearly not the case. DD2 (12) is also at that stage and rarely wears her coat, despite choosing it in the shop - kids eh!

Yes I'll make sure I get the fiver back, will have to remind him though, little git darling

I just wanted to sing his praises for a change!!! I've got my 3 nephews for 10 days, we are on day 6 and I honestly don't think I would have got this far without him, he's been a massive help!!! He's brilliant with his little cousins, especially considering DN2(8) is autistic...

He split up with the gf almost 2 weeks ago and although he knows he made the right decision I think he's been missing her, this seems to have taken him mind off it all. It's great working like a team - DH has MH problems and has been a bit low lately so DS has been my rock, bless him!

So, teenagers can be great after all, for all those who are dreading those years

He's 17 on Monday, yikes!!!!! Have got his main present of driving lessons sorted out, but trying to think of something small but special for him to say thanks for all the help.

Wow thats great My ds is virtually the same age and still a nightmare. I admire you sticking to your guns and I am doing the same. He had no EMA for the last 2 weeks of college so has had no money for all of easter bar £5 I gave him as I was out and cupboards a bit bare! Hope he turns a corner like your ds!