stealing from siblings

[jacquiel]

Just had my DS 13 ring me up crying and asking if they can all (4 DC) have locks on their bedroom doors because his older brother(15) says he has had £20 stolen from his room and thinks it must be younger DS and he will put him in a bin/ beat him up etc.
I do not think it is beyond the realms of possibility he has stolen it, however there are 2 other children and it could have been one of them.
As they have all had xmas money and 3 children work (paperround) they all have spare cash anyway.
I have spoken to him about not leaving it lying round, and he says he hid it.
Any ideas how to deal with them? Except the talk which we have had before about bad to steal, how would you feel, etc etc??

First thing I'd do is check to be absolutely sure that it is missing - DS has sworn blind before that some small object or other is missing from his room, is not where he put it, someone must have taken it etc, and a thorough search has in fact revealed that it was where he had actually put it, rather than where he thought he had put it...

If it really is missing, then you need to have a talk with all of them - but make it clear to the 15-yr-old that beating up his brother because he thinks (without definite proof) that he has stolen something is not acceptable. I'm not sure what you can do if it isn't found and no one confesses - I haven't yet been in that position.

Longer term, lockable cash boxes for each of them? Or bank or building society accounts.

Do they ever have friends visiting the bedrooms? It could be anyone.

I would go down the route of investing in cash boxes or mini safes.

cash boxes are a really good idea - thanks!
We told him that he shouldnt leave it lying about and should put it in the bank. But it isnt nice to think you cant trust your own family!

We have ..sadly ..had to deal with this..same setting. It started when DS1 (no 2 child) was 13..he started pinching money from his siblings, then us. It took me a while to accept that this could really be the case.. I just didn't want to think it could be, until I pretty much caught him red handed:(

It turned out he was doing it to loom good with friends..buying sweets and pop and rubbish which seemed mad as he had a nice friendship group. Eventually he emptied my piggy bank over a period of time which had quite a lot in it:( I was devastated and threatened him with the police:(

The good news is, (if it turns out that one of your DC is stealing rather than DS misplacing it) that it did stop. We gave him opportunities to earn money and as soon as he as 16 he got an evening job! BUT in the meantime we got a safe.. a £25 combination one not a cash box (keys can be pinched!) and we all kept our money in there. I also made it very clear that we hated to do this but he gave us no choice.

He has now..thankfully grown up a bit and I just about trust him and leave my purse around, but it was truly horrible:(