teenage daughter watching porn - don't know what to do

[Bobbi51]

I was in my 16 year old daughters room picking up stuff to wash. Her laptop had not closed down properly and I clicked to turn it off. It opened at a porn site. I'm really shocked and don't know what I should do about this.

It is, of course, possible that the DD was looking at something like Filament, or the Petra Joy site: there are quite a few feminist porn producers now who are bringing out stuff with non-coerced models, exploring various aspects of recreational sex and who should be encouraged and supported as the more interesting, creative, non-exploitative stuff there is out there, the better.

I don't think that all porn IS bad, but most porn that 16 year olds are likely to access on the internet is still going to carry these messages about what guys really like, what girls really should do etc. I don't see what's wrong with giving her some information to counter those specific attitudes, and letting her make up her own mind.

london

it would be wrong to use parental controls because she's not a kid is she, and do nothing, not a big fan of it myself but i she is 16 then i guess i wouldn't do anything.

After a lot of thought I decided to broach this with my daughter this evening. I'm not very good at hiding my feelings and she kept asking me if I was really ok, it was pretty obvious I was upset so decided to explain why to her.

I'm glad that I did as she told me that she regularly gets sent links from people she doesn't know on youtube and other social sites which are links to places she calls shock sites. These are links to pages that open up with a porn image or short video. She was in tears and genuinely distraught that I would think that she has deliberately accessed porn sites. I am relieved but also feel so bad that I jumped to conclusions.

I had never heard of shock sites but I guess it's one more thing to be aware of when joining and giving your details out on the internet.

Thank you to everyone for all the replies, much appreciated.

my teenage girl has had this happen too

her "friends" send the links, and in her naivity she used to click them

MSN is teeming wih them, apparently

bloody facebook again....and they only need to be 13 to access it legally.
(my own dd also 16 has had this happen on fb)

Thanks for posting the result Bobbi.
this interested me today.

Bobbi
I think it's great that you talked to her about it. I do think that a healthy attitude to sex and self respect needs more than a 'talk' at 11 though - I think that it's an on-going chat over the years, as stuff comes up in the news, friends get into situations etc.
Just part of life really.
I'm an 'old mum' too - and still wouldn't talk to my Mum about sex.