waiting into the early hours for teenager safe return

[gnomebert]

my dd is 15 and likes to stay out late at the weekend (often well after mid-night). He seems to do this successfully without damaging his school work or being overly grumpy the next day. But I still wait up to check he travels home safely accross the streets of London.

He says don't wait up. He says he will be fine. but he has been mugged for his phone, admittedly during daylight, three times this year. If I tell him not to stay out late it is really because I do not want to stay up waiting for him, not because it is bad for him to stay up late.

My real worry is not what he will get up to but just the danger of travelling alone late at night. What can I do ?should I lay down the law just for my convenience? Can I check he travels home safely with out me having to stay up?

...over at your friend's house if I have a landline number or mobile contact for their parents.

The problem is Oopsadaisy I feel we are just waiting for him to get mugged being out that late and when/if the police call at the door they will be asking us what our 15 year old is doing roaming the streets at night.

That is usually what he does - I don't have a problem him staying out a bit later if he is going to a concert etc but usually he just roams the streets.

I think the alarm clock suggestion is a good one. it also instills a strong sense of responsibility in your DS, no matter what the agreed time is. So if his curfew is 1:30 am and your alarm goes off, it means that he is not home and is missing curfew. If it doesn't go off and you wake up at 3am, you can go back to sleep knowing he's home and safe.

we had a version of this when I was a teenager in that we had to wake up our mother by a certain time. if she woke up on her own, she knew we were either late (or drunk) and there would be trouble! .

I have no issue with a 15 yo being out late, but I do think it's entirely reasonable to have a curfew, whatever time you and him decide to make it.

fedup4 - Being a parent is so hard. I worry about my dcs all the time but I do believe that they have to learn to negotitae life for themselves and learn to make judgements whenever they are faced with problems. I worry about the nutters out there as well as the gangs of bad lads that are about. So far my ds has made excellent judgements and has great mates. DD also seems well tuned-in.

I think people get mugged at 8am, 1pm, 6pm or 3am. It happens in Brixton and it happens in Bath. It happens in Toxteth and it happens in Tewkebury.

Can they make the right judgments though when you add alcohol into the equation? That's what worries me - all sense goes out the window surely.

When we have gone to pick him up some nights there is hardly anyone on the streets so I know it is not normal for groups of 15 year olds to be hanging around on street corners at 11.30/12 in the depths of winter.

It's just the contrast with my own experience.
As the nickname says we don't live in the city and the thought of my 15 year old DS being out at night until all hours is what shocks me. I do realise that I have almost the opposite problem in that he is unprepared for real life and totally unstreetwise.