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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

is my 13-yr-old son the only one never to have had a girlfriend?

42 replies

GodRestYeEllieMentalmen · 28/12/2010 16:48

I find it hard to believe. But his so-called mates are giving him such a hard time about it.
How do I reassure him without adding to the ''pressure''?

FWIW, I'm not making assumptions about his sexuality - I'm fairly convinced he's not gay, he is just not interested.

OP posts:

basildonbond · 28/12/2010 23:45

honestly, you just need to look at the average 13 year old boy to know instantly that your ds' friends are lying through their teeth - I mean, who in their right mind would want to go out with them???????

ds is 14 next month, has never had a girlfriend, has friends who are girls, but is not interested in taking things any further, has had a couple of crushes which he thinks I don't know about but wouldn't have the first clue how to go about asking a girl out, or what to do on a date etc

only one of his friends has had a girlfriend and that finished a few months ago as they both decided they were too young and it was a bit silly ...

bruffin · 29/12/2010 13:58

DS had his first girlfriend this summer when he nearly 15. He didn't look like or behave like a 14 year old (ie nearly 6ft and shaving) and both his girls friends have been older than him ie year above him at school.

MY DD is 13 and has never had a boyfriend and not really interested, and definitely wouldn't be interested in year 7 or 8 boys, much too immature.

Original poster

GodRestYeEllieMentalmen · 29/12/2010 15:31

thanks all, this will help me reassure him. It is just hard to 'be yourself',, when so many kids are trying to grow up too fast.

OP posts:

almostmadeitto2011 · 30/12/2010 21:04

Only problems my dd (14) has at school go along the lines of:

"Almost dd will you go out with me?"
"No thanks"
"Boy will you go out with me?"
"No I fancy almost dd"
"I hate you almost dd"
"Why?"
"Because Boy won't go out with me cause he fancies you"
"How's that my fault?"

AnnOnimous · 31/12/2010 12:45

Nope, i think he sounds perfectly normal.

oxocube · 01/01/2011 08:43

My daughter is 13 and her response to people who ask her if she has a boyfriend is "Are you crazy? I'm only THIRTEEN!!!"

:o :o

oxocube · 01/01/2011 08:47

Sorry, meant to add, my daughter has loads of guy friends but zero interest in dating. A lot of her friends are boy mad though. A couple have boyfriends although I think they most they ever do, according to my dd, is hold hands and chat. Oh and talk ad nauseum about their 'love' for each other on FB!!

All very tame

Deaddei · 02/01/2011 20:34

Dd is 14 and is not remotely interested in boys. She's at an all girls school but sees boys at the weekend through her theatre class.
Sadly some of the girls in her year are having sex and taking photos .......

mumeeee · 03/01/2011 23:07

Most 13 year olds don't have girl/boyfriends. When DD2 was about 12 she did say she was going out with someone but all it meant was that they sat together on the way to school and I know it was nothing more.

SantaClausImWorthIt · 03/01/2011 23:11

Well, DS1 had his first girlfriend at the age of 17.

But now, nearly 19, it transpires that he is gay and is in love with his boyfriend!

They will sort out for themselves what they want and when. Too much peer pressure leads them to make the wrong decisions. I'd encourage his self-esteem and belief in his own judgement - to know what he wants and doesn't want is right, and not to be overly influenced by anyone else.

veryberry21 · 05/01/2011 18:11

erm i know i'm a bit latre as this thread was posted around a month ago but i just want to tell you it's normal for a 13 year old. my dd is 12 and i know loads of her mates have "Boyfirends".Quite supprised finding all the comments about them only being 13 and having a girlfriend.boyfriend, i actually think alot of the parents on here have got children around that age and have had "girlfriends/boyfriends" and just don't tell them.

pagwatch · 05/01/2011 18:13

No. Some of us have children who didn't have girlfriends/ boyfriends at that age.
Your experience is not mine.
That does not make my son a liar or me naive.

usualsuspect · 05/01/2011 18:17

Trust me, I would have known if my ds had a girlfriend at 13..he might have had a few more showers

pagwatch · 05/01/2011 18:18

MatureUniStudent · 10/01/2011 18:28

I have two teenagers with another close behind. I have always told them to tell their mates that their mum wont let them have/do X,Y,Z. Their friends know I am a scary fearsome mum and so my children use me as an excuse for a lot of things. "No girlfriend?" "No, my mum won't let me" exagerated sigh and rolling of eyes = no kudos lost with mates. It works a treat.

anewyear · 18/01/2011 11:31

MatureUniStudent - Lol mine is only 12 at the mo, 13 in September but looks 14..

I think its gonna be the same in this house, I 'have words' with his mates if I see them misbehaving, and they know Ill tell they're parents too..

RunforFun · 18/01/2011 11:40

Its not 'normal' veryberry in my circles either.

Dreaming of Justin Bieber maybe ... but boyfriends. No.

However she is also at a 'top' girls school so that might skew your thoughts a bit too...

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