13 year old behaviour, is this normal??

[blue10]

I do not have teenagers myself but have met a man with a 13 year old daughter who lives with him. I have been seeing him for around a year and a half and met his daughter about 9 months ago. I find their relationship quite odd and it makes me uncomfortable. When he's sat watching TV she goes up behind him and starts stroking his hair etc, he closes his eyes and they sit there like that for ages! I find it so strange. When we go out anywhere, she links arms with him and the two of them walk off in front. I find this quite odd too. I wouldn't have been see dead linking arms with my parents in public at 13!! There are a few similar things that goes on, I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable or not. I mean, is this normal or what? It kind of reminds me of that episode of friends were the brother and sister have what seems like an innapropriate "closeness"!

I don't think this is odd at all. Quite normal I would say. My 13 year old daughter is still very physically affectionate with us and happily links arms in the street. I don't see anything inappropriate about it.

I was like this with my dad - sprawled myself over the armchair he sat on to do his crossword (loved doing crosswords with him) - up to about age 15 I think. Also linked arms with him in the street.

Always (up until he died) kissed him on the lips whenever I was leaving.

He was lovely, my dad.

Personally, I was not like this as a child and am not a touchy-feely adult.

My dcs aged 11 and 14 like a cuddle from time to time and particularly ds (14) likes to snuggle on the sofa when he's tired. However he wouldn't dream of doing this in front of anyone but me.

I do have a friend whose 14 year old dd is very affectionate - even kisses me and holds my hand. She often sits on her dad's lap. She is just very loving and touchy feely.

I think it's quite lovely that she has such a loving nature but I agree that if you re not used to it, it is probably a bit disturbing.

Perfectly normal and lovely.

Sounds normal to me ...are you jealous of their relationship?

I don't think it's odd either.

I think it's lovely and wish I could have had the same sort of relationship with my own father.

My BIL's 13 yr old daughter (sis's step daughter)will often shave his chin for him. Not many blokes will have that level of trust or closeness and it's very special to them both.

I have a 14 year old who still happily snuggles with her dad on the sofa and holds his hand when they are out in public.

Nothing strange at all.

My nearly 15 year old loves to cuddle up with her dad on the sofa - it's lovely to see. Be careful, blue - he's known her far longer than he's known you!

not normal here - what oopsadaisy said really

Ach, well it depends on your family.

I still get the heebie-jeebies when my mum says she loves me or touches me, but my dad is very touchy-feely, as were lots of families I knew.

totally normal this end

I have a 14y who will still sit on our laps and link arms with us in public

my little brother was still holding hands with me when he was 17- certainly nothing inappropriate there

I think your problem is that you link physical closeness with sexual feelings, which would make it totally inappropriate

but for many families this is not the only connection

Seems normal to me. DD1 often used link arms with DH or me when we were out together,

My dad met a woman like you. I loved my dad and he was always affectionate to me and vice versa-sounds just like what you describe in your orginal post Blue. This woman-my stepmother insisted that there was something wrong in my behaviour and holding hands and hugging my dad and sleeping with my head on his shoulder on the sofa was 'creepy'.

My father became so freaked out by what she was insinuating her stopped hugging/kissing/holding my hand.

Nobody hugged me for 9 years after that. Now it's all weird between us even though NOTHING inappropriate ever happened

Think about what you are doing OP.
Man does not equal child molester

I think everyone is different. My 14 year old will hug her dad regularly but wouldn't be more affectionate than that, although she is very affectionate with me. My 11 year old is a bit more of a daddy's girl and sits on his lap and cuddles him a lot. She would do the hair stoking thing you describe and often holds his hand if they are out. I think she likes to still feel like his little girl, and why not, she's only 11. I don't imagine this will change just because she hits 13. I've always felt the boundaries between both of my DDs and DH are spot on. I don't think there's anything in your OP that would give me cause to worry. 13 year olds look grown up but they can still feel like children.

I think this is quite normal behaviour.

It's quite possible her affections for her dad have gone into overdrive whenever you are around too. Perhaps she feels her relationship with her dad is under threat.

Perfectly understandable.

my son walks arm in arm with me at 13. Not if his friends are around, mind...

He has his private moments and boundaries like most teens, but sometimes asks me for a hug or to stroke his hair.

DCs (15, 12 & 10) are physically close with DH. They hug on the sofa, enjoy tickle times etc. I come from a non-touchy family so find the whole thing odd (but in a 'I let them get on with it' sort of way). I realise that the odd one is really me.

I wonder if this is our old friend, boxroom ?

eh? what?

wish my13 yr old daughter like this, I wold swap for my horrer any day.... Better this than on who make you feel like dirt and would rather die than show any affection to you....