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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Advice /suggestions for pre teen punishment?

5 replies

notremotelyintofootie · 15/12/2010 08:56

Hi

Bit of background... Ds is 11 and generally a lovely helpful lad, rarely in trouble at school, academic but also likes sport and has made a nice group of friends since starting secondary school in September. Previously he had been bullied at primary school and he had witnessed alot of agro and some violence at his dads which has all been sorted and he now has a regular weekend contact where he stays at his dads on alternate weekends together with his 3 step siblings and 2 half brothers... at home there is me, Ds, dh (his step dad) and Dd who is one. Ds adores dh and idolises Dd - very protective of her!

Anyway, we have one of those sealed tins in which we have been putting change to save towards a much needed new second hand car... I had thought it seemed lighter but decided I was going mad then last night dh commented that it felt lighter...
Ds is given £2.50 a day for lunch and he gets £16 a month pocket money so is not deprived... But I asked him outright this morning if he had ever taken any money from the tin..
First he said no, I reminded him that the worst thing he could do is lie and he knows I punish him more for lying... So he then said that Dd once knocked it over and some fell out... I then had to sort Dd out but when I went downstairs I asked him again. He admitted he had taken some and while I had been upstairs he had put it back - about £3... He says that's all he took but I cannot be sure either way do will give him the benefit of the doubt. I said thank you for telling the truth but told himi was disappointed and that stealing is unacceptable but I had to think about his punishment... He then went to school after saying sorry...

So, any ideas about punishment? He hadn't spent the money but put it in his money box! I dong want to discourage him telling me the truth but I don't want him to think he can get away with stealing etc!

OP posts:
dexter73 · 15/12/2010 10:32

You could fine him £3 for taking the money and lying about it.

maryz · 15/12/2010 12:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dexter73 · 17/12/2010 11:32

What did you do in the end?

notremotelyintofootie · 17/12/2010 18:13

Hi,

We had a long chat And I said about rebuilding trust etc and that I would be weighing the tin regularly etc... I told him about the fine but said that if he proved he could be trusted and did extra chores between now and 1st jan then I would hold off on the fine and it seems to be working,...

It does seem that it was a one off and a silly temptation, he was and is apologetic...

OP posts:
veryberry21 · 28/12/2010 20:40

Ds is 14 and i regulary unplug his x-box and just the look on his face is punishment when he comes home from school on anigthtime and relises tbhere is no x-box in his room.
Xmas Grin

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