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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

10 year old son too early to start puberty??

3 replies

MrsLH · 08/12/2010 12:04

Hello I am a newbie so this is my first post!! Ok here goes!! My 10 year old son confided in me recently that he had seen what must have been pornographic content whilst looking on the computer with his friend in his friends house! He was very bothered about it and even though I had told him the facts of life a month or so previously when he asked, this seems to have really unsettled him. He told me what the content was and even though I didn't see it I feel that it was severe enough. I have spoken to him at length about it but now he says that he can't stop thinking of things of a sexual nature. He also says that he thinks of boys aswell as girls in a sexual nature??!! I have told him that is probably because he is curious about what other boys are going through but I am just clutching at straws! I was a single parent for 6 years and it was just my son and I with quite a large input from my own Dad and Mum until I met my new partner whom I have a 1 and a 1/2 year old daughter with. I have spoken to my son at length about this as have my parents and sisters all of whom he is very close to but he says that he has these thoughts all the time which are mostly of a sexual nature. To be honest he tells me all of these thoughts as we are extremely close but I am having difficulty in dealing with this as I do not know where to turn. We have reassured him that he is normal and that we love him no matter what but it is starting to put a huge strain on our family as it appears to consume him completely. He is an extremely honest child and maybe this is his downfall as he feels he needs to tell us everything. Previous to this he was a happy ,outgoing and funny boy but now seems teary and subdued all the time. I have also noticed that he requires deoderant as he has quite strong body odour and he is quite hairy!! Please help I feel I am hanging on by a thread!!Thanks x

OP posts:
snowedinthesticks · 08/12/2010 17:41

see here

kathyb1 · 09/12/2010 21:10

at least he talks to you (!)

i am sure lots of boys have early thoughts of a sexual nature & puberty itself.

i would be more concerned that he is getting his 1st 'taste' through porn - this is likely to fill his head with images he is not ready for & possibly unrealistic expectations.

i would perhaps consider asking the parent of the other child to monitor computer use for their own & your child's benefit.

MrsLH · 10/12/2010 09:51

Thanks for the replies above!! I would love to speak to the parents of the other child but the Mom is very distant and cold and also I know for a fact that both parents leave their 2 kids at home while they go to work. My son has never been allowed into the house with the kids unless there is at least 1 parent present in the house but as the computer is apparently upstairs (I only have discovered this recently!!) they obviously watched what they did out of view of any parents!! And yes I know that I am very fortunate that he talks to me as I know that lots of boys don't speak to their parents about ANYTHING!!!
I am really hoping that over time my son will begin to forget about the image that he saw and get back to being happy and content!!! It actually really annoys me as I have always put my son first and I also have tried my best to protect him and bring him up to be a thoughtful , caring and well rounded child and then due to other parents negligence (failing to enable parental controls on their computer)I now am dealing with the emotional fallout of a situation which was beyond my control!!!
But thanks for taking the time to offer your suggestions x

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