Christmas presents

[WelshCerys]

DS3 has just 15 - for now spending far too much time on x-box & i-pod. Efforts to get him out doing things or simply going for walks with the family are generally met with a shrug and not much happens.

Anyway, want desperately to give him other perspectives this Christmas. He has a long standing interest in natural history and wildlife - loves the Attenburgh DVDs and the new DK book on natural history (fabulous book, not too pricey on Amazon). Any suggestions for anything at all (practical would be good) that might just nourish this interest and leave him thinking that the x-box isn't king, which is his attitude at present? Gratefully received ...

Hmm, not what you want to hear, but at 15, tbh, so long as he's doing his school work and seeing his friends, I don't think you should be dictating what he does with the rest of his time.

IF, however, he doesn't have an active social life, sports or something, then maybe you could try to encourage him to do something outdoorsy like Venture Scouts?

My ds likes snuggling in his cave with the PS3 as much as the next teenage boy, but I'm fine with that as he's out at a party every other Saturday night and does rowing training 4 times a week as well.

Going for a walk with the family is probably the last thing your ds wants to do!

Our ds stopped coming out for walks with us when he was 11. He just didn't enjoy it.

mumblechum - I agree with everything you've written - but for us it is a little different ... DS doesn't socialise with school mates. Happy enough at school but doesn't see anyone out of it and, as I say, reluctant to join anything ie school sports club or indeed anything in the town which would at least get him some local friends. (School is a distance away.)

I agree, I think home should be a sanctuary where you can do our own thing (within reason ...) after a school day but I'd be so much more comfortable with that if DS was, even mildly, active.

Venture scouts? Will look up. I know DS wants to do other things, wants mates but find it very, very difficult to make that first move ....

Some boys just aren't that sociable. I do know where you're coming from, ds has had times where he wouldn't make any effort to meet people and even now, he always waits for other kids to call him, he never does the running. I've been where you are now, but only for quite short periods of time because eventually someone always does call or text ds to do something.

If he has friends at school, ie isn't sitting alone in the library every lunchtime, then maybe you can leave him be, in the knowledge that in his own time, he'll make arrangements to get bus/train/whatever to meet up in town with the people he's friendly with.

Does he do co-op play online with his friends on the Xbox? Lots of boys do that if they can't meet up due to distance.

Sounds like he does need to make some local friends, though. Youth club? St John's ambulance? Does he play an instrument, could he start/join a band?
Once he's 16, he could do voluntary work.

How about a subscription to something like the world wildlife fund? Or maybe consider buying him a membership of a local organisation that is involved in conservation/wildlife projects to get him out and about. Have a look at muckin4life.direct.gov.uk/index.html You could see if there is something there. I know there is an organisation called the young archaeologists who seem to have loads of trips.

Concentrate on activities related to his interests and if he has a friend interested in the same thing then they can go along together.

Google natural history organisations and it seems there are quite a few.

good luck.

What about a camera? DD1 enjoys taking photographs and even managed to sell some that were accepted by a stock photography website.

WelshCerys, my son is a little like yours. He goes to scouts once a week. When I've looked on english heritage and wildlife trust sites, some of them have specific volunteering programmes for under 18s - perhaps one of those for during warmer months. Is there a local wildlife / ranger service that he could become involved in?

send him on a virgin zoo experience

A very big thank you to you all for these suggestions. Looking into explorer scouts and zoo for a day experiences - London Zoo is quite pricey (though I bet it's a good day) but have searched and there are some affordable ones within reach.

And, eatourveg, thanks, too. I've long thought of encouraging DS to get involved with the WWF - will also look at the site you mention. For kids who are interested in natural history/geology etc, there is also Rockwatch, the junior arm of the Geology Association:

www.geologistsassociation.org.uk/ForChildren.html

I would think it very odd is my teenagers at 15 wanted to spend free time with me...