teenage daughter getting me down

[alemci]

My dd is 17 next week and it is not getting any easier. She is my eldest and i have 2 younger children in their teens.

I have just been christmas shopping and come home, she is slumped in a chair with a gob on her. I bought her a sports bra and she was not grateful and said she hated it.

She has a boyfriend who she sees each week but i am not allowed to talk to her about him and she gets angry if I ask if he is coming over.

I try to keep busy but I hate the way she makes me feel. She is all over me when she wants something and does very little in the house. She does have a part time job and I think she is finding A levels alot of hard work. At times I find it unbearable.

i know this is probably normal but I am not enjoying things much/

Alemci

I feel for you, no words of advice as I too have a teenage daughter who is younger at 14 but felt I needed to post something to you.

I too am going through an awful time with DD so know the feeling.

I was told last night by my brother that if DD wants to be independent, then let her clean her own room, do her own washing, cook her own meals and do not give her any money. Just let her know that she has a roof over her head and a safe haven and let her get on with it. However as a mum we all know if is hard. Maybe at 17 she is now old enough to do these things.

Hope you have a better weekend.

thanks Toomany. She is a bit more independent because she has her part time job so at least i don't have to give her loads of money.

I want her to do well in her A levels so i do alot for her. She was still a misery this morning and it does get me down.

She was lovely when she was younger and at times she can be great but I am sick of her right now.

You are not the only one.

Had a phone call from school today, DD has been excluded on Monday and possibly all next week because she tore up a reminder about detention tomorrow morning in front of the whole class, she was sent to see the Headmaster, but could not be bothered to wait for him and walked out of school. If she is excluded all next week she will have to go up in front of the school governors and may be expelled. all this was taking place when I was at the vets having my cat put to sleep.

So I am really sick of her right now.

Toomany i am sorry to hear about your poor cat. That is really hard.

Is your daughter just starting her GCSE's this year. My MIL told me today that ED will be my best friend in a few years' but she just upsets me now.

Perhaps your daughter will calm down too. what does your partner say about all this stuff with your DD getting excluded.

I find myself constantly feeling guilty for how I react to my daughter. We live very rurally so I worry about her being isolated from her friends. I do my best to help her with travel but wish that she would make more of an effort to get up in the morning and talk to me more. I end up getting in an angrey slanging match with her then feeling guilty :(

how old is your daughter when i grow up.

Just turned 16 alemci and in year 11 so a year younger than your DD but I really do identify with many of your comments in your opening paragraph. I've been in tears many times. Likewise my daughter has a small job and I know she is a nice person at heart, it's just that I don't often get to see it at the moment. I suspect this is all 'par for the course' but you're right, it isn't enjoyable.

I know they are so up and down. She has been ok this weekend. I have to pick my moments when i talk to her about things. Usually in the car is good.

ooh yes I am with you all - dd is 16 and really sullen and lazy - life and soul when she wants to be but brings very little to the table whilst expecting me to be her cook cleaner etc etc

lazy with school work - eye rolling....

misery making - i have taken a step back tbh - tonight after she decided to defy me and not come home when i asked (gcse tomorrow) i took the step of tidying her room....

Please say she will grow up soon