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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Is it me???

3 replies

denigreat · 18/11/2010 21:53

Pre teen my DS1 was a very sensitive shy and caring boy.

Since reaching 14 and beyond he has become obnoxious, lazy rude and selfish. Although I have never been through the grunting stage, his language at times is deplorable. He shows no respect for me or his father, indeed he is vile to his father. On top of all this he has a temper which he cannot control. This can be very intimidating.

There have been occasions where he has verbally abused me and has beeen physically threatening, which has culminated in me calling the police on two or three occasions. He has been arrested for common assualt, but this seems to have had no effect on his behaviour.

My DS1 apologises, then falls back into the same behaviour. He tells me that this is the way all teenagers behave. Is it?? My friends teenagers seem so normal. I thought he would grow out of it, sadly not to be, he has just reached 18 and if anything has got worse. However, he knows how to behave to third parties and there are times he can be very pleasant and funny at home. But it is like treading on eggshells, you never know how he is going to be and what will trigger a reaction from him.

I try and keep a lid on things, and not provoke any reaction, but frankly I cannot wait for him to leave home when he has finished school.

I am at my wits end wondering where I have gone wrong. I really do not know how to cope with this situation any longer and I am now on anti depressants, something I never dreamed would have happened. What can I do? Is it me and have I failed him in some way?

His younger brother is totally different.

OP posts:
maryz · 18/11/2010 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

piscesmoon · 18/11/2010 22:19

I agree with maryz. It isn't normal behaviour so don't let him tell you that it is. You shouldn't have to walk on eggshells and he is an adult-however tough don't put up with it and give him the straight choice-be polite or move out.

Desiderata · 18/11/2010 22:22

Unfortunately, I think to the key to his behaviour lies in his 'sensitive' nature as a child.

Somethings eating at him. It won't be your fault, but at his age, he'll truly believe that it is.

So sorry for what you're going through. If there were easy answers, it would never happen.

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