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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Allowances for teens

64 replies

Chairmum · 25/08/2001 12:04

My 14 yr old DD has requested she receive an allowance instead of pocket money. Does anyone else do this and if so, how do you work out what is a reasonable amount? When I tot up roughly how much we spend on her with regard to clothes, shoes etc, it breaks down into a rather alarming weekly/monthly amount. Is it best to just give her enough for entertainment/bus fares/birthday gifts or should it include school dinner money and so on?

OP posts:

Mooma · 25/08/2001 15:13

Chairmum, we've found that our three girls (16, 14, 11) cope well with an allowance that has to cover entertainment, birthday gifts, fares and must-have but not actually essential clothing. We give them £35, £30 and £25 respectively (they've all just had their annual birthday increases of £5)
This sounds like a lot, but before, I was forever handing out money for cinema, swimming, lunch in town etc. I was permanently broke! Now they are paid by direct debit into their own (interest-earning) Nationwide accounts, which they manage independently. The eldest also cleans for me for 2 hrs a week, earning £10. She does a great job and the rate is fair since an adult in our area will earn £7-8 an hour. The middle one washes cars if she needs extra, and both older girls have babysitting jobs, albeit irregular. This means that they have a regular income which can be boosted by extra effort. We used to be terrible about pocket money; I would forget and end up owing them a fortune! Now things work much more smoothly. They get their allowances on condition they help with all everyday chores such as emptying the dishwasher, babysitting their brother, tidying up etc. I think it is valuable to let them have some financial responsibility, and to allow them to budget for things they want to do.

Mooma · 25/08/2001 15:20

Oops, sorry Chairmum. The jet lag has addled my brain. The amounts we give are £15, £25 and £35 to the 11, 14 and 16 yr olds respectively. Each year it goes up by £5.

Original poster

Chairmum · 25/08/2001 18:04

Thanks, Mooma. Is that per week or per month, btw? I like the idea of a DD to stop debts accumulating!! It will be on the understanding that she does a few jobs round the house, too. She really wants to get a job but we live in a very rural area so there isn't much going, plus with school and outside activites she doesn't really have the time.

OP posts:

Mooma · 25/08/2001 19:49

Per month!! It would be a bit scary otherwise! One thing I forgot - the 16 yr old was the only one having any trouble staying within budget, due to a far more active social life. (Better than mine...grrr!) So that's where the idea of the cleaning job came from. She also made the decision to stop one or two outside activities due to GCSE pressures, and we allowed her to keep some of that money. I think it's a case of being flexible. We started on the low side to ensure we weren't going over the top, but we recognise that their needs change as they start to live a more independent life.

Original poster

Chairmum · 25/08/2001 21:50

LOL, Mooma, I was hoping it was per month and not per week! I thought I'd better check because people have varied ideas about money, don't they? I know someone who simply can't understand how anyone can survive on less than £80,000 a year!!!!

Off to negotiate with DD, now.

OP posts:

Rosy · 27/08/2001 12:24

I was given an allowance from when I was 13, and I would definitely recommend it. We were given our family allowance (about a fiver a week in the mid-eighties) but that wouldn't be relevant now as that's increased by much more than the rate of inflation since. From that we bought all our own clothes/trips out etc. Also, after we were 16 we all had Saturday jobs. We've all turned out to be very canny with money, but maybe we would have done anyway. Practically, my Dad made a bank book and credited us every week, and we could then make withdrawals (mainly because he never had the change avavilable).

Tel · 01/09/2001 11:37

My mum used to give all of us (I'm one of many) our family allowance money direct, which worked quite well, but she still ended up paying for things like shoes, coats etc and other big stuff. I can't say it taught me to manage my money, though. Seeing as I always had a saturday job of some sort, I was probably, in retrospect, quite well off. I think the most important thing about this is not so much the amount, as the fact you are being a little bit independent and making youur own decisions, but realistically.

Suew · 01/09/2001 21:13

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request.

mumeeee · 28/04/2003 16:27

I have just seen this thread. My 16 yearold DD aratrted having amonthly allowence of £25 at the start of year10 (aged 14 1/2). We by her schoolnt clothes and 2prs of footwear a year. Anything else she wants she gets her self she has her own bank accuont with a card and the money is p aid straight into that. Oh we do usually pay for school and youth club trips but will sometimes ask her for a contribution depending on hoe much the trip is and what money we have avalable at the time. She is very good with her money and adds bithday and Christmas money to it. Of course she sometimes complain of not having enpough money, but knows she has to budget. I don't know what the other 2 will be like when it's thier turn they just have weekly pocket money of £2 and £1.30 at the moment of course they also get Birthday and Christmas money.

soyabean · 05/06/2003 22:35

Interesting! Had been wondering if atrting secondary school would be the time to change the system for DS (11). he gets £1.10 per week now but likes to have it monthly so a rise to £15 to cover other stuff too is probably a good idea. Do yours get cards with their bank accounts?

mumeeee · 06/06/2003 14:52

Soyabean.
My 16yr old DD does have a card with her bank account. Her money gets paid into her account each month and she has complete control of her card. My 13 and 11 year old Dd's do have building society books but do not have cards. They have their money weekly although my 13 year old often asks me to keep it for her and put into her account. She will be having a monthly allowence next year and will then have a card.
I think a monthly allowence for your DS is fine but would not give a card to an 11 year old.

Rosiemum · 06/06/2003 19:36

I too run this system with our daughters, and have done since dd1 was 13.

Dd1 is now 15 and has £40 per month paid straight into her bank account, which she has an 'electron' card for so she can use it in the shops, as well as taking out money from cashpoints. She is exceptionally good with her money, knows what is in her account to the last penny, and saves for significant purchases if she wants them. We buy her school clothes, school shoes and a 'basic' wardrobe - anything else she pays for herself including birthday presents, trips out with her friends and spending money for holidays and school trips.

Dd2 is 12. She has £30 per month paid into her account, and only has a cashcard to get money out of the machine, she cannot use it in the shops. This way she cannot go overdrawn as if the money isn't in her account, the machine won't give it to her! She is learning to budget and again is very sensible - although more prone to spending everything she's got than her big sister! Again, we expect that money to cover birthday pressies, fashion clothes and shoes, and spending money for holidays and school trips.

Tortington · 10/06/2003 21:03

thank god my kids havent read this thread.

i couldnt give my children money its against my very being!

they have to earn it - and for £40 i would expect my house spotless!

i see the point though for children of a certain age. the thing is my teenages wouldnt pick his nose for me or money if i asked him to - i have to order him to do anything. am sure my girl would love this system so she could go to town to buy her own clothes when she is 14ish.

we are doing a system where we match what eldest son earns on paper round. good work ethic eee by gum!

CP1 · 14/07/2003 12:37

I like to give a basic amount with the opportunity to earn more.

Lara2 · 11/04/2004 17:26

My son is the poorest kid on the planet - zilch money at all. I think he should earn it, not just be given it and since he has resisted all attempts at bargining with him, he remains skint! He's 11, and I'm sure that by the time his social life takes hold, he'll be so desperate, he'll do anything!!

CountessDracula · 11/04/2004 17:29

I am amazed at how little they seem to get - I used to get £40 a month when I was a teenager (from about 15) and that was just for me - that was by no means a lot - some of my friends got £60 per month - and that was in 1981!

Given how expensive everything is now - eg £1.60 for a coffee, how do they make it last?

Nutcracker · 11/04/2004 17:40

Blimey, looks like i'm going to be broke forever then. My kids are 6,4 and 16mths and we don't give them any pocket money at all. My dad saves anything less than 50p in a tin for them to sare between them and my elder brother brought the 2 dd's a tin each which he puts the odd pound coin in here and there. My mom will usually buy them something instead.
I was going to start giving the 6, and 4 yr olds pocket money, but i'm not sure how much to give them and what they should have to do/not do to get it. Plus i want there to be some rules about how thwy spend it, otherwise they will be buying sweets al of the time.

Fizog · 11/04/2004 17:49

I used to get £80 from about 15 until I left school. I had to buy clothes and transport out of that but my parents still bought toiletries/food and I didn't pay rent. The deal was when I left school it stopped and it did. From my point of view it was great

luckymum · 11/04/2004 18:29

Ds1 earns £25 a week doing a paper round and I put £20 a month on his phone. I pay for his clothes but anything else he buys himself. Its working so far (he's 15 BTW). Ds2 is 12 and has £10 a month into his bank account, dd is 10 and doesn't get anything (yet ) but then the other two would say she's spoilt because any bits and pieces she asks for she usually gets.

Tortington · 11/04/2004 21:26

i am bloody amazed you "give" your children this amount of money. truly. my son does a paper round and gets £15 pw - to him this is a fortune - the money is his it goes into his bank account - so far he has saved up and bought himself a stereo and a coat. he is now saving for his spends for holiday. he pays us catalogue money for the mobile he got last week which is £1.60 pw and he is very very clear if he should stop his paper round or get sacked that his phone will go back. he has a desposable income which his brother and sister are extremely jealous of.

they all earn their holiday money by doing chores. and i shit you not - if they dont do them - they dont get. we have a chart which shows what credits are earned.

last year each child had different spends depending on the work they had done running up to the holiday.

i like to teach my children you have to work for your money, if you work - you get. if you dont - you dont its as simple as that.

i strongly believe that giving ( what i consider to be fairly large amounts ofmoney) to children without it being earned in any way shape or form leads to an expectation from both parents and society that someone else will always pay or help them out.

my kids are clear on this..... when they start earning - my money will be mine to spend on pink dresses and gerbil coats - if i should be so inclined - which i am not

mumeeee · 16/04/2004 03:52

My eldest DD is now 17 and has a a Saterday job in where she earns £20. 85. We stopped giving her an allowence whan she started earning. She fenerally pays for everything her self. If she comes on a family outing we will pay entrance fees and we are putting money towards a youth holiday she is going on.

twiglett · 16/04/2004 13:39

message withdrawn

robinw · 16/04/2004 14:00

message withdrawn

tolly · 21/04/2004 17:56

My 16 yr old daughter J gets £20 for her weekend job and my 12yr old daughter B gets £10 per month. Trouble is, their dad (bastard!! - sorry, bittterly divorced) gives them all sorts of handouts and takes them shopping. They come back with all sorts of stuff, usually the wrong stuff, I am talking ultra mini skirts, thongs, stupid shoes etc etc , but more importantly, no real senses of values and earnings.

tallulah · 22/04/2004 15:01

Well we must be really mean because we don't give ours any money at all. My grandma was sending them a monthly allowance but that's stopped in the last couple of months, so that's it. We did try giving a set amount but money has been so tight that it was too hard to keep up.

DD now has a Saturday job. DS1 is old enough to work but can't be bothered- if he was desperate for money that would be enough incentive! The other 2 don't go anywhere to need money. We supply things as and when required.

I had a Saturday job from 14 until I left school to work full time at 16.

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