17 yr son - in danger of messing up his life

[atwitzendmum]

my 17yr old son is in danger of really messing up his life and nothing ssems to be able to get through to him. We have tried anger, nurturing, threats etc. In recent weeks, he has missed school lessons, swore at a staff member and now been caught smoking in school grounds. Now a real chance he could get expelled. He is already having to repeat his L6th, wont get a job (lack of social confidence) but underneath is a creative, sensitive (or I think he is) quiet, funny lad. Any ideas!

a reality check.

not sure what would be appropriate for his particular circumstances but he needs a glimpse into how his life WILL end up if he continues as he is. also, are there any people in his life or that you know that are really inspirational, positive people? someone who has achieved through hard work? someone that can offer him work experience or part-time work?

he doesn't sound like he has really gone right off the rails. I think you can turn it around. What does he want to do with his life? Does he have any dream/wish/plan?

sounds to me that he just isn't happy at school, get him to talk to his connexions adviser - if he gets some insight into his future then he might see the sense of sticking at school. on the other hand though 6th form isn't for everyone, would it really be that bad if he dropped out and did something that he really enjoyed.

In answer to maryz - I suspect that you could be right and he is saying that he wants to be at school as this is what he thinks we want to hear. I know that I have protected him perhaps a bit too much from the harsher realities of life. Have been summoned into school so will see what happens next.

maybe a local college is a better bet?

better than deliberatley sabotaging his own life