15 yr old boy help needed?

[lozzle17]

Can anyone advise me on where I stand legally with my 15 year old son. After a small argument a week ago he decided he was leaving and has been at his dads since then, his dad lives in a bedsit. He has come back for clothes briefly and says he wants to live with his dad. It is miles away from school and he has his gcse's next year. His dad has never supported him and is not the nicest of role models. Legally can I demand he comes home? And where do I go now? Any help or advice very much appreciated. Loz

I'm in the same boat DD nearly 14 had gone to live with her Dad, he's moving areas hundreds of miles away and doesn't have a job to go to . I've told her it isn't what I want but have come to the conclusion that it's best to let her go

Hi
Have a look in your yellow pages for family law solicitors, they usually give u a free half hour consultation, where they will tell u whether u can legally force him to come home and what the next step forward could be. Other ppl like relate may be able to help if u could convince your son to go, where u can sit in a room and talk to your son, and perhaps his dad, calmly about the situation, visit their website, you might find something of use.

does his dad have PR (parental responsibility) for him? If he's 15 then you would either have to have been married at the time of his birth or his dad would have had to have applied for PR.

If he doesn't have PR then your ds is totally your responsibility and you have the right to have him returned home.

If he does have PR then you are equally responsible and you'll need to go down the courts route.

Is there no compromise? He can stay there at school hols and weekends but comes home to you during school hours?

Ultimately though if you went down the legal route your ds at 15 would have his views taken into account, his Dad would have to be deemed unsuitable for him to not be allowed to live with him I think.

I don't think you would be able to get the police or courts to force a child of that age to return to you against his wishes.

Perhaps a better plan would be to look at the possible issues? It may have been a small argument to you, but it seems to have been much more significant for your son. Could you ask he attends some family mediation?

How well does he know his father? I'd be tempted to respect his wishes and let him find out for himself what the reality of living with Dad is. It might just be the pressure of exams etc.

Thank you for all of those messages, they have helped me get my head together, Im a lot calmer now. We werent married at the time my son was born but his name is on the birth certificate. It hurts but I think I will have to let him go and find out the reality of living with dad as Tanga suggested. He is 16 in a few months and any court action could take up to 6 months I've heard. I will let him know the door is always open. Thanks Cargirl Lollipop Tanga x

and Flojo thanks x

If its any help my niece did eactly the same thing at this age. Went to live with her Dad for a month and then came back when she realised home with her Mum (my sister) was a better realty and that her imagined life with Dad was just a fantasy.

My sister sensibly backed off and just liaised with the Dad to make sure there was an open channel for communication.