My 15yr old DD & boys...

[startingagainafter14years]

Hi,

I know this won't seem like such an issue in comparison with messages I've read on here but I'm worried of how to go ahead on the situation of my daughter and a boy she's met.

I read her FB and other social networking sites regularly as I want to be aware of who she's talking to, what photos get posted and any issues that might be going around.
She has started talking regularly to an 18 year old who, seeing on his pictures, smokes hash and is very much into the "gangsta" style.
At the moment it's just exchanges of harmless "I love you's" & texting til 3 am but I am very wary as she has never had a boyfriend before and especially not one of this age.

She hasn't mentioned him to me but I know she wants to go to a party where he'll be on Saturday. I've said no with my reason being I don't know the kids who will be there and I'm not happy with that. She's moaned but has accepted.

She's a good girl, we don't fight and we talk quite openly about issues we see on the t.v.

I know she's growing up and this is a natural part of it but I'm not prepared and I'd really appreciate guidance from mums who've been through this mine field.

Thanks!

Hi, I would choose not to discuss the boy with her unless she brings it up...an indirect conversation aobut someone else might help; for eg, my DD told me yesterday that a girl in her class is going out with someone who is nearly 18...with her mother's permission! My DD just said that 'there must be something wrong wtih him if he wants to go out with a 14 (nearly 15) yr old'. So i'm sure your DD knows it isn't right and was hoping you would say no to get her out of the situation.... that is a big age gap at that age even without the hash...I am sure she feels she would be out of her depth.
I would say tho', not to let her have the phone that late. I had experience of my DD (who's 14.5) texting till late and the texts were getting suggestive (the bf texts were starting to and she was joining in) as in where are you/i'm in bed/wish you were here/miss you/wish i could feel your arms around me/love you so much/what would you do if i was there etc etc....so you can see where that might lead with an 18yr old.
Good luck!