So is it normal for a teenager to just grunt or blank you?

[ComeScareWithMe]

He is 13 one minute he is hugging me and the next he hates me and is ranting or blaking me.

Spending most of the time in his room and just generally been an awkward pita.

Blanking.

totally normal

Normal yes, acceptable behaviour, no.

God yes, you'll have to get used to it cos it's going to go on for a few years yet. He's not the only one by a long shot

Yes. Normal.
I think it's a train-like-a-dog situation, though, if you want to prevent things getting worse. I refuse to take grunt/blank as an answer: my standard line is "I'll assume that means [whatever answer they don't want] unless you clearly say something different."

Obviously, you have to be very polite in return.

Also, demand thank you's, please, your welcome's etc.

agree with ragged. although i have only experience of very polite teenage girls so i don't know if boys are different. the girls aren't my own DC so maybe that alters things. i know i was always 'normal' with otehr adults but with my parents i was a nightmare.

It just feels very hard and I am now crapping myself after reading your replies as I have 5 little girls all waiting to hit puberty at around the same time.

I try not to react and tell him he in being rude but he dosen't seem bothered - for example it is his job to do the dishes once a day (the only chore he has) and he point blank refuses.

Loads of other stuff too bloody hell I want my sweet little boy back .

oh, you're house is going to be so much fun when they are all teens

My girls aren't perfect by any means, and the eldest was a nightmare for a couple of years (actions more than attitude - she hurt me very badly with her behaviour but she was pretty mixed up at the time) However, they are never rude to me. Eye-rolling or the occasional bout of sulleness or passive aggressiveness but nothing worse than that. I wouldn't put up with them point blank refusing to do chores without good reason. We help each other that's the deal.

I've heard other teenagers speak to their mothers (rarely the fathers) like they're a piece of dirt or treat them like simpletons. And they get away with it! I know it's a cliche but it's a complete lack of respect. Why would you think it's ok to treat your parents like that?

I don't know how to make him to his chore? Am clueless.

Tis true he is lovely and polite to others.

I may be considered a bit mean (by my DSs) but if they don't do their bit (in terms of their share of chores and basic manners and respect) then DH and I stop doing our bit, in terms of of paying for their phones, being a free taxi service, and allowing the use of the house electricity for games consoles, computers etc).

Harsh but fair. As ragged said its a train-a-dog situation.

i like batteryhuman's idea. i don't think it's harsh at all.

Read that fab book 'Get out of my Life! But first take me and Alex into town' which recommends the broken record approach for chores

'please empty the dishwasher'

'Why do I have to do it?'

'Please empty the dishwasher'

'GOD! I have to do EVERYTHING!'

'Please empty the dishwasher'

Amazingly, 9 times out of 10 they do it- because you are refusing to get into a pointless argument about it which is what they would much rather do cos then they can storm off

Totally normal.

Your son has been abducted by aliens and they've left this grunting clone in his place. You'll get yours back when he's maybe 18 or so.

Good luck

My dd doesn't grunt. She sings, mainly numbers from old musical comedies. Anyone consider swopsies?

IME girls have door slamming dramas and boys hibernate and grunt.
That book is great.
The grunting boy will emerge in about 5 years as a lovely young man.
I adopt a tedious embarrassing tone and say "speak much louder please I cannot hear you" until he looks me in the eye and speaks properly.

ah yes but they are lovely to you sometimes (when they want a lift/money/permission to stay out somewhere)

I agree with everything that's been said so far.

Having had the benefit of a trouble free 16yo DD1 it was a real shock when DD2 turned into a 13yo 'grunter with attitude'

IMO the two best bits of advice from the Get out of my life... book are 1) (as cybbo has mentioned) just keep repeating what you want and 2) don't get into an argument if they are obeying the sprit of the rules e.g. as long as they keep coming home within 20 mins or so of curfew time it's not worth imposing punishments.... save that for if when they start trying it on and coming home hours late.

I'm sure we'll all look back and laugh one day

And as my H said to me today, our teen is fundamentally a good kid. She went to a party on Fri night, loads of her friends got drunk on Vodka, she was sensible and mature, had a tiny sip but hated it and told us so.

So I'm trying to take the rough with the smooth!

oh yes, i tend to follow my 17 yo about the house, trying to make a convertaion out of 1 word answers

normal

Conversation? Ds is nearly 15 and looks and talks to us like we're something he's just scraped off his shoe. However, other people think he is charming, polite, a real credit to us .
Can't wait for him to get past this.

They're wonderful aren't they?

I've got a 15 yr old dd, who has been a right royal pita most of the day. Grunting, eye rolling, huffing etc. I wasn't asking her to clean the toilet with her toothbrush, just simply suggesting that since we are going away next weekend, it might be a good idea to start preparing things she might need!

I gave up! I wasn't in the mood to argue with her about it, which I knew it would end up being, since daddy dearest is out all day!

Fast forward to 20 mins ago and I've been napping Opened my eyes to her telling me she's prepped the roast and it's in the oven!

Moobag!

Yes comp;etly normal