13 yr old daughter and make up for school

[febel]

I have noticed that all of a sudden my 13 yr old (13 at end of July so fairly recent teenager!) has started wearing face powder, and in particularl to school. Doesn't look good and I have explained that it may give her spots etc but she still keeps putting it on. Her excuse being, lots of her friends wear it (well yes, but lots of her friends DON'T wear it!) and her elder sister wore it (yes, but not til around 15..and it gave her spots)Don't know whether to pick a battle over this or not. I have let the mascara etc go on without comment, school seem to let them wear make up (different in my day!) she is stroppy enough as it is and to be frank makes all our lives a misery frequently with her sulleness and shouting and short fuse. She does well at school, has friends but refuses to have them round cos says she can't be bothered, unlike her elder sister who always bought everyone round, or was out and about with friends.I don't really have anyone I can talk to cos my friend's two kids, same age, according to her, never give her any trouble, are always interested in after school activities etc and do all their practises etc without her having to mention it,,ad seh makes me feel I am failing if I ever mention anything problematic re teenagers to her cos she has bought hers up the right way and they don't give her any trouble.Hubby is no help and needles daughter at times anyway, causing more arguements. At times I feel I have had enough and could just leave her to it and walk out....but then the g-pig wd die cos she wouldn't remember to feed him!

Drop it - it's something that affects her, not you. You think she looks silly and spotty, she knows that she looks One Of The Ok Crowd and the school don't mind. Make sure she knows your opinion and experience but let her make the choice for herself.

I think the big shift we parents have to make with our teenagers is the shift from protecting them by making their decisions for them TO helping them learn life's lessons for themselves. They are well evolved to help us in this - nature has made them sullen, rude, stressy and needy which helps us parents think 'sod you, get all spotty then, and I will just smirk and say "told you so" in an infuriatingly smug way'.

Sorry to say but I agree with oldenough... DD is 14 and we have well and truly been through this stage and tbh still going through it. She constantly wears foundation, powder and mascara. Did get told to tone it down and has done so, but will not leave the house without it and school do not say anything. Unfortunately we are also going through the hair dye stage. Just waiting for it to fall out. Doesn't matter what we say she will not listen, so avoid the arguments and keep quiet, wait for the spots and hope that hair dying does't soon follow, but smile to yourself when it all goes wrong.:)

How about compromising with some tinted moisturiser? And help her choose teh right shade!

In my experience teenagers do not compromise they want what they want (shame and we all know we speak from experience and have the T shirt)

At my school they compromise or clean their faces.

Dd(13) goes to school with about as much slap as Captain Jack Sparrow at the moment, hair straightened to hay, blood red nails, Miss Sexy tight trousers, and nineteen bangles on one arm. Leaving behind bedroom carpet scorching merrily, a trail of black mascara and all her forty odd soft toys lined up so that they can breathe unconfined and see out of the window.
It's not a very logical age.

...have dropped subject and will save my breath for more important arguements I've decided!! Tinted moisturizer won't do the job...it's mask of powder only for her...like some of her other friends! Think she has put it on a lot more lightly since I said something, tho whether that's cos she thinks I won't notice she's wearing it or she's actually taken note of what I said about how thickly she had it on and how people would notice and perhaps poke fun I don't know. Still, when she gets spots, I'll be the one to blame no doubt ;-)
Was a bit of a shock to see her in powder cos she's my youngest, and at 13 not v old for her age at times...

Husband is problem, not daughter. If he is needling her, you need to stop him. Tell him to stop bullying a child.

I was the same at 13 - I discovered black eyeliner and walked around for years looking like I had 2 shiners!

Still do in fact

I wore a ridiculous amount of make up at that age, still do, except it's applied now to make me look like I'm wearing none and just have good skin.
Back then I was so orange I could be seen from space.

Let her get on with it, she'll grow out of it soon enough, or take her to a fancy make up counter and get them to apply it for her nicely, then treat her to a few bits and she may follow their lead.

Thankfully in my son/daughters school there is zero tolerance when it comes to violation of uniform rules... no make-up is one of them. Saying that most of the girls do wear a bit of tinted moisturiser and a very light brushing of mascara which is rarely noticed.
I shudder to think what I must've looked like at school when I was going through my punk stage... tones of eyeliner and bright pink spikey hair (which I did actually get sent home for).

I can see your frustration but on a scale of 1 - 10 I would save my concern for skirt too short and drug/alcohol issues. I am in no position to give advise though as i am having big problems with my 12-nearly 13 year old.

Well since my last thread DD has now dyed her hair 4 times this week . Was bleach blond after about 10 attempts to get their from black, she now decided that she wanted to go back to her original colour of dark blonde kind of colour, so put a light brown colour on, hair went green , dyed it again it went greyish/green, not much better, came home from work to find it Purple and then last night it is back to dark brown. Give up, don't bother to comment and waiting for it all to fall out.

I wonder where she gets the money from to buy this colour, can only presume that she spent some of her birthday money, I hope !!!