stressed out and need a holday without the teens, should we leave them home alone

[strungout]

As a famly this year has been horrble. we the parents need a holiday, the kids dont want to come wth us but i feel guilty leavng them home alone. The youngest is 15 and very sensible and has a steady boyfriend , she stays at his house most weekends. They are not having sex yet. The middle one another girl, very highly strung 17 yr old who also has a boyfriend, shes at college and works part time and likes to party. And the oldest is 19 ,he has job and works hard, he doesnt have a girlfriend and tends to be a loner. He hs been in trouble with the police and has a driving ban.So should we go on holiday and let them stay at home, Im so stressed and need a break but worry about them constantly.

I agree times have changed however, I remember being left home with my 2 older brothers when I was 15 - they were 20 and 22.

I also remember being 16 and both brothers hhad left home, I would stay at home alone while my parents went on holiday.

I was very sensible and had a steady boyfriend (now DH) who stayed with me.

I think it completely depends on your children and your trust. You can't put all 15, 17 and 19 year old in the same bracket, they are all different

I left my son home alone for 5 nights a few years back - he was 16. I didn't hesitate in leaving him ...I think the fact that you are even thinking about it speaks volumes.

Why don't you plan a couple of nice days out instead? It sounds as if you would spend the whole holiday worrying about your kids so what's the point?

There is the option of making sure your kids are so sure that you would ritually disembowel them in front of their friends that they think having a party would be a bad idea!

Left my daughter, then just 16, for a few days while I went to help my mother (400 miles away) who was elderly and unwell. She was supposedly staying with a friend but instead threw a party in our house including a lot of things that upset one neighbour badly and enraged another (the latter former good relationship has never recovered). I have since left her, after the longest reading of the riot act ever, and she has behaved - I had no choice, mother died suddenly, no family to help, couldn't take her out of school as her exams are soon. She has realized what damage she did and how it upset me that she proved herself untrustworthy on that occasion. She is constantly on at me to update the furnishings in the house - I refuse because she has no respect for any possessions, but that's another story.

what you also need to think about is their friends and whether any imminent party would go up on FB and get quickly out of control - not a relaxing holiday. having someone there you can trust is a great idea.

I think it's one of those things where you have to look at the actual teens and the actual circumstances and stresses of the family. And from what you have described- no, I don't think I would; it's sounds like there's quite a bit going on in your family and things could easily go awry.

Gosh! This thread was started back in October 2010 - wonder whether the OP went or not and how it panned out if she did.

Just to contribute to the debate over this dilemma - I have two DDs - 17 and 15 - and I have left them "home alone" together overnight for one night on three separate occasions.

I have drilled into them how potentially horrific a house party could be in these circumstances and the eldest has seen with her own eyes how some drunk teenagers are disrespectful to their friends' parents' property and how places get trashed. The 15 year old is still all about sport and girly sleepovers - no boys or alcohol on the horizon yet.

I think that this is one of those things where there is no right or wrong answer - it depends entirely on the kids involved. My two have enjoyed the independence and trust and have ensured that it was successful for all of us. In fact, I think they did more loading the dishwasher/ wiping down surfaces/ picking up soggy towels than they do when I'm around!

I don't think I would go away for a week though - not because I don't trust them, just because it feels too long.