Hi mums..

[BJS11]

After a recent discussion with friends we were talking about age gaps in relationships. What do you find a age gap which is too big?

So lets say, your 18 year old son is going out with a 15 year old girl. There is a 3 year age gap but they think the world of each other?
He is completely aware that any 'activities' with her is illegal and is willing to wait until she legal? Would you dislike that? Or would you be more comfortable knowing that he's being sensible and cautious?

If your daughter was meeting this guy for the first time, would you go with her? If so what would your reaction be towards the guy? I.e: Would you question him, motives etc?
Say if he genuinely loved your daughter and showed you notes he'd written about her. Would that change your mind a bit?

How would you also feel if you didn't approve of this and your daughter threw the fact your partner and yourself have an age gap of the same or more years? Would you trust your daughters judgment and give him the benefit of the doubt?

I look forward to contributing more on the forums, let me know your opinions on age gap relationships.

Oh I realize i've just made a mistake there. "How would you feel if your 15 year old daughter was going out with a 18 year old guy" then the questions still apply.

When my DD was 16 she had a 23 year old BF. He was much nicer than any of the stupid little boys she had gone out with before.

He treated her like a lady, and looked after her. She is now 24 and they are marrying shortly.

She was always very grown up and they were so well suited.

I don't think it is the age that is important.

Welcome to Mumsnet, BJS11. Are you aware that there's a fee to be paid for doing research here?

Are you describing a genuine scenario, or something hypothetical here, or what? If a 15yo was meeting an 18yo boy for the first time, how would they already be in a relationship? Why would he have been "writing notes" about her?

If you mean a 15yo has been talking to someone on the internet who claims to be 18, to love her, be willing to wait etc, and they were about to meet in person for the first time, then yes as a concerned parent I would be there. I can't imagine many parents would be happy with that situation, since we can never be 100% sure who we are talking to online.

BecauseImWorthIt - It's not research, I was just curious to what others thought of this.

AMumInScotland - It's something Hypothetical. Just after discussing with friends it was sitting on my mind.

Lynli - Interesting, was you worried for your daughters safety at all?

(I am not doing research I can assure you that. I just want to know others experiences with this.)

What made you think of Mumsnet? Seems an odd place for a teenager to be interested in.

Well for starters nothing they could do or say would make me believe they weren't shagging. I still remember what I was like at 15.

I don't actually think I'd have any issues. Most 15 year old boys are idiots - my oldest son certainly was at that age. I'd think I'd rather my daughter was seeing someone who possibly had more maturity.

what are 'activities' do you mean hill-walking, bungee jumping, volunteering in the community?

"Say if he genuinely loved your daughter and showed you notes he'd written about her. Would that change your mind a bit?"

This ^ would make me think he was a bit strange.

Yes, the note-showing would make me think "nutter - run for the hills NOW" :o. That's just odd.