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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Condoms - at what age did /will your sons get them?

24 replies

mumblechum · 13/09/2010 12:25

Just musing really, collected ds from a party yesterday morning and there were several condoms on the front lawn. The girls there said they were using them as water bombs , but it got me thinking, at some point ds is going to be sexually active (he's 16 now) and although obviously they have to buy condoms sometime, I'm thinking it would be a good idea to stick a few on the Tesco online list, as I'm not sure whether he'd go & buy them over the counter.

Any experience or advice, anyone?

OP posts:

colditz · 13/09/2010 12:27

I will inform my boys at 14 years old that there is a stash of condoms in the bathroom, I will never ask about them, and I will replenish them as needed until they are 18 years old, at which point they will be on their own.

AnyFucker · 13/09/2010 12:28

your boy is 16 ?

I would make sure he has a supply right now, tbh

CuppaTeaJanice · 13/09/2010 12:29

Condoms do make great water bombs .

I think I'd get some, but not make a big deal out of it - leave them in the bathroom cabinet, or hand them to him when you get him deodorant or shaving foam etc.

Original poster

mumblechum · 13/09/2010 12:30

You're scaring me AF

OP posts:

PixieOnaLeaf · 13/09/2010 12:32

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Message withdrawn

Original poster

mumblechum · 13/09/2010 12:37

That's a good point Pixie. At this party on Saturday night, there were no parents and a mix of boys and girls staying overnight.

Of course, they all get PHSE lessons so in theory, he knows the score, but...

OP posts:

MrsTayto · 13/09/2010 12:39

At 16 there is a good chance he is already sexually active.

Go to your GP and say you want condoms - you will get a prescription so you wont' have to pay. Get them and leave the bag on ds's bed and say 'I will be filling that prescription regularly and putting the bag on your bed, they are for your use if and when you are ready - be that now or in 5 years' time - or to give to your friends if they don't have any and they need them.Tell me if you have run out or if you want me to get more for your friends and no questions will be asked.'

The friends bit is a good get out clause because a) he can claim they are for friends of his who find it difficult to get hold of them and b) it may actually be the case that he has friends who don't have any on them right when they need them.

AnyFucker · 13/09/2010 12:41

mc...a bunch of mixed-sex 16 yos stayed over at a house with no parents present ???

and you are wondering when to have the condom interaction ?

is it just me that would be very surprised there was no shagging going on ???

get real, fgs

I don't know for one second if your teenager is having sex, but if he isn't, you can bet most of his peers are, so make sure he has easy access to condoms

don't let him e the one to get some girl pregnant

hopefully, any girls will be switched on when it comes to contraception (and STD's of course), but don't leave it to chance

AnyFucker · 13/09/2010 12:42

I am totally gobsmacked

Original poster

mumblechum · 13/09/2010 12:44

That's a jolly good idea Mrs Tayto

OP posts:

TrinityTheLonelyBrokenRhino · 13/09/2010 12:45

if he isn't big enough to go and buy them over the counter himself he isn't big enough to be having sex

Original poster

mumblechum · 13/09/2010 12:47

AF, I didn't actually know it was going to be a full-blown party without adults (this is the first one). It was a bit of a disaster actually, a van load of chavs turned up and started walking out the door with the Bose sound system, computers etc and when ds and his friend tried to stop them, they were beaten up. It was only when he was telling me on the phone about some girl patching him up that alarm bells started ringing.

Will make an appt with the GP today.

OP posts:

TrinityTheLonelyBrokenRhino · 13/09/2010 12:47

no parents
16 year olds
you're leaving his sex ed to the school

really think you need to get real

Original poster

mumblechum · 13/09/2010 12:51

I'm not really leaving sex ed to the school, we talk about loads of stuff and are very open about sex etc. Yesterday I asked him if he knew where to buy condoms and he said he didn't need to, he wasn't doing anything, but if he did need any he'd go to Superdrug. I'm just not entirely sure that he would go and buy some, but I dunno, he went to the states for 3 weeks in the summer alone (well, with a friend), camping in the Rockies and he seems to have matured very rapidly over the last couple of months.

OP posts:

AMumInScotland · 13/09/2010 12:53

You know, I've never considered it to be my responsibility to buy condoms for my DS, only to make sure he knows about contraception and STDs.

Thandeka · 13/09/2010 12:58

I work in Sexual Health and probably would have given access to condoms from about 13ish - absolutely NOT with the intention of using them but more to familiarise with them- as young men need to be shown how to use condoms properly as they can have a 15% failure rate in first year of use (2% after that) due to improper use. He probably won't want to be shown by his mum (pity my DD everyone as she probably will be shown by her mum thankfully a few years to go yet!). That's why the C-card scheme is great as you have to be shown how to use them first before you get them.

Most important messages for young people to prevent condom failure:
Don't put on inside out! (if you do discard and use another one)
Hold onto them when you withdraw.
Don't be too drunk, and careful with jewellry, nails etc.
Absolutely NO oil based lubricants (baby oil, vaseline, moisturing lotion etc)
Experiment with different shapes and sizes til you find the best fit for you- extra large trojans may help your street cred but not when they slip off and you end up a dad!

One of the companies I work for is going to be developing downloadable media texts of "how to put a condom on" (so young people can text a number and get the video as a download) - I am training the actress "nurse" how to demo it, which will be awesome so I can post a link once it goes live. My condom demos are pretty awesome if I do say so myself- have an ejaculating demo model and exploding condoms, drunk goggles and all sorts! (i keep all my training stuff at my house- when we moved recently boy where the removers amused). "Where would you like me to put your model reproductive tracts madam?"!!!)

Original poster

mumblechum · 13/09/2010 12:59

at Thandeka

OP posts:

PixieOnaLeaf · 13/09/2010 13:04

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Message withdrawn

AnyFucker · 13/09/2010 13:24

pixie...may I direct you to the "teenage confessions" thread ?...

and I do give teenagers credit

I credit them with the sense to use protection when they experiment with sex and find out how nice it can be if you stay safe...

PixieOnaLeaf · 13/09/2010 13:33

This reply has been deleted

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AnyFucker · 13/09/2010 13:34

( nerds have sex too )

PixieOnaLeaf · 13/09/2010 14:21

This reply has been deleted

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MrsTayto · 13/09/2010 14:33

I think in a party of 16 year olds it's likely that a couple MAY be having sex. Not definitely, but perhaps. Even if it's the nerds' night out.

I think it unlikely that they all WILL be having sex, however.

Thandeka - respec' - your job sounds very interesting and lol at the removal men.

Manda25 · 13/09/2010 20:26

I work with kids in care and have access to a lot of free condoms :) When my son was 13/14 I gave him a whole load of leaflets on drugs, periods, drink, sex, condoms and other forms of contraception STi's etc..... and over a few weeks we did some light hearted quizzes to 'test' what he had read. I gave him some condoms and told him to 'get acquainted' with them.... I made sure he knew where the local young persons clinic was and opening times. He is off to Uni in two weeks .... and i did get him a few ...just in case

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