if you read your ds wanted to kill himself what would you do?

[MaineGirl]

as part of no secrets from us we have the passwords to ds1's (13) facebook, xbox etc and i check them regualrly as hes quite insualr and doesn;t talk to me or his dad about anything let alone if anything was worrying him.
anywya checked his facebook this morning and he'd left a conversation open with a friend whos a girl where he talks about wanting to kill himself as no one likes him and everyone would be better off without him.
i am really really shocked and my first reaction is to confront him about it, but luckily hes not here, so i have time to think about it properly.
i mean is it liekly to be just immature childish talk and not realising the implication what he is saying has on others, or does he mean it?
what do i do?
even though i know his passwords, its still another thing to admit that i do actually read his 'private' conversations.

I'd ring childline or NSPCC or Barnado's, they will have advice for you, then you will have some information and possibly a way of approaching your son.

How distressing for you to read this on your son's account.

He may have posted it hoping you would read it, which is encouraging in itself.

Good luck.

thanks for that, i feel a bit silly now but sat here crying as i feel like i might make things worse by admitting that i read his facebook. hes not the type to leave conversations open on purpose and is likely to get very angry when i admit that i have read his conversations and checked his account.
i know 13 is a difficult age and hormones are rife etc, but i can;t help feeling that this isn;t normal.

Sorry you're going through this. I think 13 is a really horrible age for a lot of people, and that he may just be getting his feelings off his chest with this girl.
Having said that, though, I don't think you can ignore what he's posted. You don't have to tell him you've been looking, try to get him on his own, preferably when you're doing something, maybe going for a walk, playing a game or whatever, and just do some gentle probing.

Talk to him, talk to him, talk to him.

Without being dramatic, also make sure there are no packets of potentially dangerous medicines in your house, especially paracetamol. And only small quantities of alcohol, especially sweet strong alcohol.

It's good he HAS talked to this girl though isn't it? May well not be serious at all.

Please talk to him. We have the same policy in our house and had to 'confront' my dd (13) about a conversation she had left open which was quite sexual in nature.

She knows I look at her facebook - after all that's the whole reason I have her passwords.

What's the worse that can happen if you do talk to him about it? He gets upset but knows that you care about him.

The worse if you don't talk to him? He could be serious and try to harm himself (God forbid).

I would find out the numbers for the Samaritans or Childline and offer to make the call for him and pass the phone over to him if he wants to talk to someone.

Good luck.

Do not ignore this, talk to him.

Hi Maingirle i'm sorry to here about the conversation you have read to do with your son but my advice to you would be to talk to him. I was 13yrs old when i first attempted suicide so if your son is truelly feeling like this he certainly needs your love and help. I had threatened so many times to end my life at such a young age n my parents thought back then it was attention seeking until i done a very serious attempt. So please talk to your son and try n find out what's making him feel like his life is worth ending at such a young age.

All my thoughts go out to you and hope all goes well for you and your son xxx

If his feelings are at this extreme I would recommend going for professional help. Print out the conversation and take it to your GP, asking for a referral to CAMHS. They can offer therapy, either family therapy or psychotherapy. It may feel like a breach of privacy but even in a professional counselling situation, a therapist would have to notify the appropriate authorities if they thought a person was in danger of taking their own life.