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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Do you search your teenager's room?

34 replies

UnquietDad · 26/08/2010 11:49

I don't have a teenager yet, but DD is 10 (and often behaves like one!) so it obviously is something that we talk about a lot, as it will creep up on us before we know it.

I recently found out (won't go into how) that, when I was a teenager, my parents routinely used to go through the stuff in my room and "check up" on me.

Not sure exactly at what age they did this, nor how long it went on for. All I know is that everything must have been put back exactly as it was, because I was quite a meticulous, tidy teenager... I'm amazed I didn't notice.

I don't think they were looking for embarrassing diaries or jazz-mags. One of their friends had a son who took his own life at around the same time (I only vaguely remember about this, to be honest) and he had concealed a gun from them. I think they were just reassuring themselves I wasn't keeping anything similar from them. It makes me feel a bit Hmm

Maybe this seems a normal precaution to those of you with teens... Or does it seem like a huge invasion of privacy?

The person from whom I found out about this says we absolutely must do it with our children and that deceiving your child in this way is a small price to pay for their safety. I'd like to think I wouldn't have to, and that we'd know to look for other signs if one of our children was having problems... but what do I know?... Teenagers are a whole new world.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 26/08/2010 18:01

I would never search ds's room ..like others have said only for missing mugs and bowls .. he doesn't mind me going in there in the slightest though , and hes my friend on fb so I can see the drivel what he posts any way ..

BitOfFun · 26/08/2010 18:04

I'm tired. I thought that said "dirty mags" Grin

No, I don't snoop, just occasionally tidy up in there a bit.

mummytime · 26/08/2010 18:49

I occasionally go in and tidy it, so it is then possible to walk from one end to the other!

Slambang · 26/08/2010 20:42

Seeker - just popping in to answer your question. Of course an untidy bedroom doesn't affect the health and safety of the family. It's an excuse, geddit?

If ds questions why his room is a health risk (which he does) I chunter about attracting rats and mice. [wink}

thesecondcoming · 26/08/2010 21:07

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HowsTheSerenity · 26/08/2010 21:13

I don't really search my charges room (they are 16, 14, 10 and 7). I do search the youngests room for contraband chewing gum but the eldest knows that I know all his hiding spaces for his girly mags. I do search his bag and pockets for cigarettes though on occasion.

You have to trust them but letting them know that you know what they get up to is enough to keep them on their toes Grin

nottirednow · 26/08/2010 21:26

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2shoes · 26/08/2010 21:28

never
sorry but the very idea of searching his room makes me shudder.
I talk to him and he know he can talk to me about anything

nottirednow · 27/08/2010 07:10

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