Just wondering what you all do about answering back and generally having a shit attitude

[MrsMorgan]

Dd1 is 13 in Nov.

I am having problems with her mouthing off at me when she is having a strop. She does it all the more if there is an audience and I am sick of it.

Last timme she did it at dd2's swimming lesson, so I told her she earntt herself an 8pm bedtime. She carried on and I told her that if she continued, she could go to bed at 8pm for for the next 4 nights. She still carried on and so she did indeed go to bed at 8pm for the next 4 days.

Anyhow, she has just done it again in front of neighbours and so as she was due to go to a friends house tomorrow afternoon, I have told her she can't go. I did warn her beforehand.
She carried on again, telling me how she was going and I can't stop her etc. I again warned her that if she carried on she'd get sent upstairs, but she did and so is now upstairs.

I have no problem carrying through the punishment, but nothing seems to work with her, I just get a mouthful back.

mumoverseas, before your children return home, unplug the router and hide it. Don't put it back until they have paid the BT bill, for both months out of their own money.

You can always plug it back in when you are mumsnetting need to do important tinternet work yourself, then unplug it again and hide it where they don't dare look (amongst your tampons and underwear perhaps?

Agree with slug mumoverseas.
Give them consequences and if they flounce off to stay with someone all the better. They will soon see how good they have it at yours really.

The removal of electrical items and methods of communication, ie phone, computer and the site of me with scissors threatening to cut off plugs unless a swift apology is forthcoming....

Our DS is 16, and boy, does he know how to throw a tantrum! Lately he's just come across as a tad arrogant; as if he knows everything about everything, and dear old mum and dad are two old farts who just don't get it. :)

Dad is far stricter on him than I am, I'm afraid; last night DS got too lippy for his liking, and hey presto! Bye bye phone! Cue massive tantrum, and wails of "I hate you! I wish I didn't live here! You're FAR too strict on me!". With dad, it's very simple; you either behave in a proper manner, or suffer the consequences. Whereas I'm the one who tries to get onto DS's lever and explain exactly what he's done and why he's being punished.

But his life revolves around his phone, and for the next few days, it will have come to a shuddering halt. :)

HaHa DD1 was being generally gobby yesterday and when I enquired gently if she had PMT her boyfriend (who is a sweetie)answered Yes !
The look on her face -Hahah was priceless ! She then laughed her head off and so did we.

Hi, my son is 12 and quite normal by the looks if your posts!!! If he doesnt do his jobs then he doesnt get to go on Xbox. Also his Xbox is not in his bedroom so that I know when he goes to bed, he wont stay up playing on it or watching a DVD. Bed time is 9 but we get the usual wee, drink, talking etc..... However he makes a lovely cuppa and still kisses me goodnight :)

Thank goodness I'm not the only one!!
12 year old daughter who is rude, sulky and speaks to me with a tone in her voice.I told her that if she knows everything and thinks she's old enough to wear inches of makeup and watch 18 rated films then she didn't need a mother. I stopped doing everything for her. No washing,ironing,cooking, didn't wake her up for school. She hated it and behaved for a while but has now slipped back.

My 13yo DS has shouting tantrums in the supermarket if I don't let him have a toy. I just walk away. When I tell him that his cousins don't get pocket money if they don't tidy their rooms, I get told "I'm not other kids".....

To get him to do any jobs around the house is an uphill battle. But I do get them done eventually.

Unfortunately, his behaviour upsets my 3yo DD. She told him off the other day for being rude to me....

My thirteen year old and I seem to argue constantly. She doesn't seem to be able to nderstand how rude she is being and answers me back constantly. Door slamming is also very common. I need advice on how to get attempt to get things back on an even keel without letting her think I am backing down on her quite appalling manners and behaviour, because I'm not.

DD is the same, I have just purchased Divas & Doorslammers, how to control your teenagers behaviour. apparently using pocket money to encourage good behaviour was mentioned. Not read the whole book yet, it said divide your child's pocket money by 7 to get a daily rate and then divide by 20 to get an amount that you can deduct every time that said teenager is rude.
example DD gets £14.00 per week divide by 7 gives us £2.00 per day, divide by 20 gives us 20p. DD gets 20 chances to be good and earn her £2.00 with good behaviour, if rude deduct 20p etc, at the end of the day, give DD what is left, it states that we must give DD the left over money so she can see what she has earnt. so have a stash of 20p's available. encourage good behaviour stick with the deductions with the bad behaviour, it states to do this for a set period of time and your child's behaviour should improve. Not yet tried this as only received the book today, but will give this a try, nothing to lose.

sorry that should be 10p. Its late at night !!

My ds (nearly 14) is fairly normal then.

I'm fairly new to mumsnet but finding some discussions very helpful.

I do unplug and remove the router as ds is on internet when shouldn't be (denies it).

ds seems to have an exceedingly short memory as regards his behaviour and any opinion he expresses (or indeed, anything I say). Does anyone else find that?

Like your suggestions toomanytimes, I'll have to try it. Have seen book title on another thread get out of my life but take me and alex into town first, borrowed this from library it was an encouraging read.:)