DS's first crush - how to resist the urge to interfere??

[ForestryTrees]

Ok DS is only 11 but the general parenting board tends to focus on much younger kids and this is a kind of teenagery problem so -

Basically I allowed my DS to have a facebook account on the condition that I had full access to it. All his friends have one and I didnt see any harm in it.

So a few weeks ago I was checking it over and I came across a coversation between him and a girl from school. He was basically telling her she meant everything to him and she was the only person he'd miss from primary school. I noticed she made a quick exit from the convo! I then noticed he'd been nagging her older sister to put this girl on the PC so he could talk to her.

All the while, another girl is trying to get DS's attention, asking who he fancied out of her or "emily" etc, making subtle comments about the kind of boy she fancied (describing DS) and telling DS that he should ask someone out. Looking at it from an adult/female perspective she was BLATENTLY trying to get him to ask HER out. DS did not twig on to this and after a few nights of trying her hardest to get through to him, she just asked him out herself. He said yes but it lasted no more than 2 days before he ended it lol

Anyway my point is, he seems to be 100% in love with this other girl still and last night I read a convo where he mentioned asking her out a couple of days ago. She has refused to answer the question which to me makes it obvious its all one-sided but he has continued to send her sweet and sickly song lyrics and even told her she was "torturing" him by not answering!!!

I know its all silly, playground, puppy love stuff but its so difficutlt to resist that urge to interfere and offer him advice (as in "back off, she's obviously not interested and its wrong to chase!") !!!

Has anyone ever had this?? and so young too

Not exact experience but DD had a very heavy admirer at the end of primary. He was clearly flooded with hormones and she wasn't at all, so she just didn't understand what he was on about. He used to stalk her! Neither of them had Facebook and he didn't have her mobile number.

I think what I'm trying to say is that here are two children at different stages of development. She may seem like she is being hard to him, but the truth is, if she's still a little girl she will not be even thinking of boys in that way iyswim?!

No help whatsoever. Sorry!

Bloody hell - 11, I've got this all to come!

TBH, I have no experience on this one apart from being that age myself. I think I would stay out of this at this point. Years ago, this either wouldn't have happened at all, or would have been in the playground where you wouldn't have heard it. He may have had his feeling hurt, and would have processed them and moved on - all possibly without you knowing!

I realise we need to keep an eye on what is going on with kids and PCs, but unless they are accessing inappropriate stuff, or being bullied then I would probably let them make their own mistakes. If he asks for advice that is obviously different.

You could try just 'talking around' stuff in general by 'inventing' a similar topic i.e 'XX (friend of the family)was telling me that Bobby has just starting seeing some girl and she is REALLY keen on him....imagine!'.

My dd is 13 and I steer clear of any questions about boys! Sometimes she will tell me if she has a boyfriend but most of the time it is made quite clear that it is none of my business!