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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

dd (17) hasn't come home

13 replies

venusandmars · 05/08/2010 06:44

I have posted this in the teenage section hoping that I'll get reassuring responses from parents of teenagers, rather than panic from parents of pfb 1 year olds, IYSWIM.

DD is 17 and was out last night at a charity event. I knew it was going to be going on very late, but she has not come home. She did call my mobile at 4.30am but I was not awake to answer it. I am surprised that she did not text, because our usual arrangement is for her to text me when she is on her way home, and then to text again when she gets into the house.

I expect that she has stayed at a mate's flat in town, but I am swinging between being worried because I don't know if she is OK, and being cross because she hasn't let me know where she is. She is not answering her phone, but then she is probably sound asleep somewhere.

The charity place she was at opens at 10am, so I can go there and see if anyone knows where she went, but there's not much I can do before that is there? Should I be more worried?

OP posts:

tegan · 05/08/2010 06:50

i don't have a teenager quite yet but i think at 17 she has probably just got engrossed in conversation and then gone to sleep and when she does wake she will be racked with guilt that she never txt you. please don't be hard on her just say i hope u had a good time and next time please remember to drop me a txt

Original poster

venusandmars · 05/08/2010 06:52

Oh and should I let her dad know? There is a small possibility she may have gone to stay there instead.

OP posts:

Goblinchild · 05/08/2010 06:56

Did she have enough money to get a taxi if there was a a problem?
Has she slept over at a mate's place before?
I wouldn't worry just yet, she is probably asleep and safe if she's a sensible sort of girl.
Leave a text message telling her to contact you ASAP. Then go and do something to keep you busy whilst you wait. I tend to clean the kitchen.
Point out that a text or a voice message would have helped you not to fuss when she gets back, and that a fussy and worried parent is not a good thing.

mittz · 05/08/2010 06:57

Hmm... worry at the back of your mind but it sounds like she went to her mate's flat. Tried to call you and then probably clocked out. Maybe you could have her mates mobile number, My DS is only 12 but I can contact a few of his mates and their parents re his whereabouts and vice versa.

If she was with friends and something was wrong it is likely they would have called you or she would have called you more?

mittz · 05/08/2010 06:59

I think if I cleaned when I worried about DS I would have OCD

ragged · 05/08/2010 06:59

I would be mildly worried, about the same as you sound.
Did you try texting her back?
Since you're awake already and not likely to sleep again?!, Could you go to the flat (is it not too far?). You can bring coffees in styrofoam cups or if you wake them both up, make it when you get there.

So very good tempered, but all making the point that she should have texted you about what was happening!

Original poster

venusandmars · 05/08/2010 07:04

She knew she would be coming home late so she should have had money for a taxi. We exchanged texts at 1am this morning, so she was OK then.

She has stayed out before, but has always texted to let me know. It is unusual that she had tried to call but didn't leave a message or text.

OP posts:

noddyholder · 05/08/2010 07:15

Can you ring her now? ds is 16 and going to his first festival today and I am pretty worried and stressing he phones/texts regularly over the 4 days so I feel your pain.Hope she gets in soon

Original poster

venusandmars · 05/08/2010 08:01

Worry over. Have woken her up by constantly phoning her. She is at her friend's.

She sounded tired and rather contrite. Which is OK.

OP posts:

BollockBrain · 05/08/2010 08:03

phew - still give her a telling off when she gets home. All she needed to do was text at 4.30 to say i am staying at x y z house. Bloody teens!

Ilythia · 05/08/2010 08:21

Yes, lesson learnt for her, always leave mum a message asap otherwise she will wake you up at stupid o'clock

mumeeee · 05/08/2010 11:48

DD2 now 2o did this when she was 18, She too was at her friends but her phone had run out of chare so wasn't able to text me. She did charge it up at her friends and texted me late the next morning ( well it was afternoon). Glad your DD was okay.

hormonesnomore · 05/08/2010 11:58

I can remember the feeling well - in fact I still experience it occasionally and my DCs are not teenagers any more.

I had to drum into them to keep in contact whatever they were doing or I would embarrass them by getting in touch with all their friends

I can also remember being a sulky teen and not wanting to communicate with my parents, it must have been torture for them in the days before mobiles. They just had to trust me ( fools - mwahahaha)

Phew, glad she's ok. That's another grey hair for you!

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