DS wants to join the army at 16 - advice please?

[SuzieHomemaker]

DS (year 7) wants to join the Army at 16. DH and I want to support him but not push him.

He plans to join Army Cadets as soon as he is old enough. He currently belongs to St John's Ambulance and plans to stay with them until joining cadets.

Does anyone have any advice or comments please? Do any Mumsnetters have experience of DC(s) joining up at this age please?

Haven't been in that exact position - but have had discussions about different life plans at different stages. I think the main thing would be to be neither too negative or too positive. Support him in his choices by helping him find out information he wants, taking him to Cadets etc - but also make sure other avenues are kept open by making sure that academics are maintained, hobbies are continued along side the Cadets and it is not the only career that is talked about. And then wait, he has some growing up to do before 16 and he may or may not change.

It's very pleasing to hear you plan to support your son in whatever way is necessary. He seems to have his head screwed on with his ambition to join the Army Cadet. The ACF is a fantastic organisation that will foster his interest in the forces and help him along the way.

It seems to me that he is saying 16 because he wants to get in as soon as possible, however this attitude may change once he grows up and matures with a different outlook on life.

As he grows up I'm sure he'll see the positives of going into further education and then later joining up. However, many 16 year olds who join have educational opportunities once they have finished training.

The Army is actually one of the largest providers of education and training there is in the country. If he wants to learn a trade, it can provide all the training, to very high standards, and leading to recognized qualifications.

You might want to have a look at a website called ARRSE (Army Rumour Service), which has a "joining up" forum, and a chat thread for parents of junior soldiers. It might give you a flavour of what these choices look like once made.

Good luck with whatever he chooses in the end.

Thank you all very much for such positive responses. It is early days yet and as you have all pointed out he will be doing a lot of growing up over the next few years. We will see how this goes and whether the interest burns out. At the moment we seem to have so much camouflage around that I am sometimes surprised we can find him.

Thank you onimolap I will take a look at the beautifully named link.

At 12 years of age he has lots of opportuntity to develop in groups such as Army Cadets. A decision to join the Army is years away and not the goal. If he does not decide to join the forces then he will be well placed to join other public services. Don't worry, support him in his development.

Thanks Chatelaine

Perhaps you should help him to explore career opportunities in the other services too. My godson feels that same but is 16 and I would like him to look at wider options and be sure that he is making the right choice for him.

Hi Al1son you are right. Not sure yet which way he will go. He isnt academic at the moment though this may change over time. We havent pushed him into this at all. We arent a forces family so there is no direct experience to be called on.

I would be very non-comittal at this age, he is still in year 7.

I think teh cadets is a very good thing, DD is 14 and in the air cadets, she joined after some nasty bullying at school and i cannot thank them enough for building her confidence.

DD also wants to join the RAF, but at 18 as opposed to 16. I must admit I was pretty negative about it at first, but now think that it is a good idea.

If I were you i would encourage it, but say that you think it would be a brilliant idea if your dc did A levels/6th form, and joined up at 18, potentially as an officer.

My DD joined air cadets at 14 and is now an officer in the RAF.
They put her through university and also I think her sixth year at school.
She really enjoys her life in the Forces.

4/8 of my DC are in the army... 23yr old with paras, 23yr old DS training as an army doctor, 21yr old in royal engineers and 19yr old Royal Anglican regiment.
other 4 have no interest at all. 17yr old DS wants to be an artist (eek) and twin DD has no idea.
15yr old DS tells me he plans to get lots of girls. yes, my DS did say that to me.
14yr old has no idea.
Their father is still in the forces as he has been since university.
All my DC have been involved in CCF and Cadets since they went away to boarding school @ 13. Older ones made the choice to join up because they wanted to, not because of their father.
All find it rewarding and are thoroughly enjoying themselves. Younger ones say there's no appeal.
I think it's best to see how it goes. if it's the right choice for him, then he'll relish the cadets. if he doesn't enjoy cadets, army life isn't for him. it gets a lot tougher, but my boys say they wouldn't have made any other choice.
see how he goes.
the army (and other services) will put him through further education, so there are bonuses. mine didn't choose to use this benefit but I know many who have done.
It is stressful and i never know when they're here or there, but they're happy. that's the main thing. i just have to try and keep up :)

Well the only bit of advice I could give is for him to join cadets, but you already have that covered! So, erm, just give it time really.

When I was 11 I wanted to be a policeman, but that idea changed dramatically over the following years. Your son might do the same, or he might not, time will tell :)

The Army (although it pains me to say so :P) is a good employer and will foster your son's potential and experience so he can learn more once he's in.