16 yr old DS becoming a night bird

[Scarab]

DS has done GCSEs, been on holiday with friends and now has a long summer ahead of him. I have been away working for a week and DH is working so hard he only has an hour at home before he goes to bed. The result is DS has started getting up at 12 or 1 and then staying up till 2 a.m. watching stuff like BB on TV. He says he can't sleep and is bored. He can't see any problem with this but I worry that he is getting totally out of sync with daily routines. He seems to spend all his time on the computer and watching TV, with the occasional trip into town with friends. He won't read although he used to love it, says he can't be bothered to get into books. He has tried to get a job but is not determined enough. I see the whole summer being wasted. Is this typical? Any thoughts?

Give him chores.
Tell him to find a job or volunteer somewhere. Or else!!!!
Take away the tv cords.
Holiday camp

I have the same problem with my 16yo charge. he is off to french lessons, rowing camp and will volunteer at the local cancer charity shop. As long as he does all that he can watch tv etc as long as he gets up by 11am.

DS1 in in exactly the same position. He has refused to get a job, and spends his time drifting from one friend to another,and spending the night with friends - doubtless not sleeping much.

I am at a loss. I've talked to him, but he can't see the point of going ot bed.

We've cut off all funds, so he only has about £70 he's saved - luckily not enough to go very far, as he has grandiose ideas.

Lifts to places are dependent on him doing a little work around the place - currently tidying his room.

Oh, he also doesn't read at all. Seeing as he says he wants to apply to Oxford he needs to be reading around his subject. Not to mention getting some awesome stuff on his CV.

Still, what do I know(according to him)?

Sounds fairly typical to me

Quite typical. Mines a girl she did cleaned the house yesterday . We are struggling to get a summer job as well.

Agree give him some chores. I leave a note in the morning so she gets it early afternoon.

Sounds Normal.

Totally normal - both my DSs have been exactly like this - breakfast is at lunchtime, they are up when we go to bed and we have to tell them to be quiet (they might be playing online X Box with friends who are also doing the same in their homes).
Cure - a job when they have to get to work in the morning. They'll have years of that, so don't be too hard on your DS unless he's keeping you awake.

I am dreading this next year when DS does his GCSE's, as he won't be 16 until lid-August so not allowed to work!

DD had a job that didn't start until 2pm earliest, so I had no reason to insist she got up before lunch if she was working in the afternoon.

Scarab, Butterbur, my son (15) is the same, and I don't have any answers. The only thing I can say is that my older son (30)also went through a phase like this. He also went to ground for a while, just staying in his room on his computer.

At the time, I wasn't too worried. At least I knew where he was, and there were some very bad boys on our street (Manchester council estate). Looking back, I think he may even have been a little scared himself of the social groups (no gangs then, luckily) that were always changing, and being with other young people can be very scary! I think he was taking refuge, in a way.

I didn't realise it at the time but my son was learning a lot while he was spending time on his computer. He went on to do Computer Studies at uni and now has a great job, wife, child and another on the way.

I suppose in a rambling way I am saying that the time these boys spend on their computers need not be totally wasted. They do read stuff online, and they do need time to chill. Getting out of sync is something everyone likes doing from time to time, and the holidays are only 6 weeks - though that seems like a lifetime to us.

They'll be so bored that when they go back to school they'll be glad to have something to do!

Not much help, but good luck!

If he has an allowance, stop it and tell him he needs to earn any money - e.g. if he can't find a job elsewhere: cleaning, cutting the grass etc.

Leave a note for him each day with the list of jobs you need done that day and price per job and make it clear they need to be done to a certain standard.

Absolutely normal. They need time to completely unwind from exams - possibly the last chances in their life to veg out sleeping and eating and watching TV etc. So long as he's not keeping you awake or creating mess around the place, be cool with it. The only thing I'd ask is if he is doing some chores around the place when he is up and it's regular daylight hours, so there's something he has to do for definite in any one day.

A summer of lazy days and late nights sounds awful to parents but it's exactly what kids this age want and love to do, and I don't think it's harming their work ethic or whatever.