Respect

[AliveAndKicking]

How do I get my son to respect me and my things more? He is a great lad, really good to the core, but 'Kevin and Perry' type 15 year old with attitude. I don't like the way he speaks to me at times and I think he should show respect for me and the house he lives in. He's not deliberately bullish or anything like that but if you have seen the 'Kevin and Perry' sketch, you know what I mean. AND, how do I stop him swearing all the time? It's not aggressive, just totally unnecessary negative swearing?

Well I think some attitude is par for the course. I have a 14 yr old dd so have had attitude in this house since she was about 12 so it seems.

Whilst some teenage angst I will tolerate, abject rudeness I will not. I would always point out to my child when I dont like the way they are speaking to me, and if you dont like swearing, say so. Say its fine with your mates but it upsets you and could he use other words

I have one of those!

He changes like the weather....one moment he is sweetness and light, the next truly vile.

He always apologises and I find he is worse in the mornings.

I choose my battles carefully but the same theme about respectful language occurs regularly.

Thanks. I have tried the "I won't tolerate it" speech. I've tried the "I won't accept swearing in my house" speech and I've tried explaining that I don't like it. I don't think he is deliberately ignoring me but I don't think he is listening to me either. Listening doesn't seem to be his skill set at the moment. He is the same as yours by the sounds of it scurryfunge!

I think you just ahve to keep picking him up on it. Keep repeating your rules even if it sounds like you are talking to a brick wall. it will instill that 'parent in charge' view, that you have boundaries and somewhere DEEP inside I'm sure he's listening!

I don't think one speech will do it. I think you have to pick him up on it every time he does it. Tiring? Yes. But if you keep on at him for...about 5 years, he should stop.

Thanks, I will persevere. I probably shouldn't say this but I was hoping he would have left home in 5 years.

this book is INVALUABLE

I think its just a phase ....at least I hope it is and yes this swearing is driving me nuts too.

this is quite useful too

Thanks cyb - I've ordered it and look forward to reading it.
Thanks scurryfunge - I have lots like that and they all make sense to me - he he