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How do you find and trust a surrogate ? After 17 yrs ttc I'm on the verge of giving up

11 replies

KosmicK · 20/10/2022 01:28

Hi , how do you find a surrogate in uk ? I'm aware the process isn't legal and that surrogate has the legal parental right as birth mother . How do you trust that someone will hand over your baby and not keep it?
Surrogacy is something that I never thought I would consider. I've always wanted to feel the bond between my baby and me , to carry it and to birth it . I can't imagine how magical it is to feel that kick inside you. After 17 years trying i just feel like giving up. I'm 37 and feel like I don't have a choice to consider another option. I had another consultation yesterday with my fertility doctor and I'm just left feeling deflated and honestly suicidal at this point.
Has anyone who's been through this got any advice .
I just don't understand how the process works really. It's a huge decision and I'd really like some more clarity before we contemplate any further decisions .
Would love to hear from anyone who's used a surrogate and also anyone who's been a surrogate if you could share your experience with me

OP posts:
Carrieonmywaywardsun · 20/10/2022 01:49

Surrogacy is legal, as is the process. The surrogacy however is not legally binding as the surrogate has the right to keep the baby.

You'd need to go through a surrogacy service or agency. Speak to them for advice and information, they won't rush you but are the best source of information.

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 20/10/2022 01:50

You should also look into support from a counsellor or similar, feeling suicidal is not a good place to start from when entering surrogacy so you need to get help along the way x

AntonDD · 28/10/2022 16:47

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Ihavekids · 28/10/2022 16:50


ShamedBySiri · 29/10/2022 08:16

Many are successfully doing the process abroad. You can be matched with a surrogate immediately and the costs are lower and legal rights better than in UK.

Legal rights for whom? Poster means the use of women in impoverished countries is much cheaper and those exploited women have few if any rights.

Everything you need to know in one line. Renting wombs. Buying babies. Exploiting women.

I'm sorry for your struggles OP but surrogacy isn't the answer.

PaulineInParis · 28/11/2022 15:07

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Quesurrosurro · 21/12/2022 09:09

I’m a surrogate and I know of plenty of successful surrogacy stories in the UK - there are organisations you can join (SurrogacyUK, My Surrogacy Journey, Brilliant Beginnings) or you can go independent and join surrogacy Facebook groups. Surrogacy in the uk is altruistic and friendship based, the couple I’m carrying for I met through indie groups 2 years ago and we spent quite some time getting to know each other to the point we are now really good friends and trust each other completely.

don’t give up hope, but I would recommend some counselling to get you to a point where you’re ready to properly explore surrogacy

usedtolovenaps · 04/01/2023 18:33

Ihavekids · 28/10/2022 16:50


I'm sure OP would've never even thought of this option if it wasn't for your comment.

usedtolovenaps · 04/01/2023 18:35

I am sorry you're in this situation OP sorry for all the comments frm ignorant idiots that you probably have to endure on a regular basis.

SandraSurrogate · 20/03/2023 10:12

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FannyCann · 21/03/2023 18:55

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