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Surrogacy - thoughts, advice, help

13 replies

INeedAMinute · 24/03/2021 19:41

Hello! I’m new here, although a long time lurker. My story is that I had a late miscarriage last year due to a bad fall, it was my first baby and I was unfortunate enough that the D&C procedure damaged my endometrium. We’ve always dreamt of being parents and are in a place where we're feeling much more positive after the sadness of what happened. And of course, are extremely nervous about looking into surrogacy, having frozen some embryos through IVF. My mum fostered kids when I was growing up and I've always been part of a really child-centred family, which makes it a bit weird to think I won't be carrying my own. I understand that surrogacy is debated hard on Mumsnet but I wanted to post here to get some advice on people's experiences as we want to go in with our eyes open. We've not yet signed up to surrogacy UK but would be really interested to hear any thoughts on the best way to get involved with this world. Are there any good UK-based online groups to discuss this (most of the ones I've seen are based in the US). I'd also love to talk to women who've been through this already as a gestational carrier, or who are considering it. I imagine it must be really intense as well as (hopefully) worthwhile to bring a new life into the world in this way.

OP posts:
NellieNog · 05/04/2021 17:13


After 4 healthy pregnancies I'm actually looking to become a surrogate.

Have you now joined an agency?

I'd love to hear more on other people's experiences on this journey!

Cinderellashoes · 05/04/2021 17:14

Just wondered what damage was done to your endometrium? Does it mean you absolutely will not be able to conceive and carry?

FannyCann · 06/04/2021 15:09

OP for some reason your thread has been duplicated with posters on both. It might be better to just have one in the go.

@NellieNog surrogate pregnancies can be very different from naturally conceived pregnancies.
Here's an account from someone who found out the hard way.

NellieNog · 06/04/2021 19:31

I may be naive here but what do you mean by damage to my endometrium? As far as I'm aware I'm perfectly healthy and all deliveries were normal.

FannyCann · 06/04/2021 20:11

I think that question was aimed at the OP Nellie.

" I was unfortunate enough that the D&C procedure damaged my endometrium"

northerngirl88 · 09/04/2021 17:13

Wow. I can not believe the judgmental comments from women on here who have never experienced surrogacy and likely not infertility.

We had an amazing surrogacy experience as Intended Parents and my best friend did as our surrogate. I now have my 11 month old who is an amazing and happy baby.
I’m not going into the fine details on here because to be honest I don’t want to be told how wrong it is by women who don’t know shit.

OP - PM me if you’d like and id be happy to chat about our experience.

northerngirl88 · 09/04/2021 17:18

Ignore my post please people!! Posted on wrong thread xx

NellieNog · 09/04/2021 18:22

I was thinking the same regarding the judgmental comments...can we agree to to be open minded and kind please?
People don't join these forums to feel attacked.

OhHolyJesus · 09/04/2021 19:02

Has someone attacked the OP?

Anon992 · 12/04/2021 23:16

I have been a gestational surrogate.

There are a few different agencies you can join in the U.K. which help IPs meet surrogates. They have each got quite a different ethos and set up - so my advice would be to do your research as to which one best aligns with what you are hoping to achieve. (They also usually have long waiting lists for IPs so it’s worth getting an application in early.)

There’s also a surrogacy U.K. information community support page on Facebook which is a good source of information from the surrogacy community.

Good luck with your journey.

Steffie83 · 23/04/2021 22:55

Are you still looking to become a surrogate? X

TheLoneRager · 23/04/2021 23:37

I think OP is looking to use a surrogate Steff.
Probably not the right place to try to seek out a surrogate mother if that is your aim.

2021theyear · 18/05/2021 11:43

Hi everyone, I am not sure if this thread is still thread is still active but my husband and I are considering surrogacy. I have no idea about where to even start- can anyone offer any advice? X

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