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Surrogacy - thoughts, advice, help

5 replies

INeedAMinute · 24/03/2021 18:56

Hello! I’m new here, although a long time lurker. My story is that I had a late miscarriage last year due to a bad fall, it was my first baby and I was unfortunate enough that the D&C procedure damaged my endometrium. We’ve always dreamt of being parents and are in a place where we're feeling much more positive after the sadness of what happened. And of course, are extremely nervous about looking into surrogacy, having frozen some embryos through IVF. My mum fostered kids when I was growing up and I've always been part of a really child-centred family, which makes it a bit weird to think I won't be carrying my own. I understand that surrogacy is debated hard on Mumsnet but I wanted to post here to get some advice on people's experiences as we want to go in with our eyes open. We've not yet signed up to surrogacy UK but would be really interested to hear any thoughts on the best way to get involved with this world. Are there any good UK-based online groups to discuss this (most of the ones I've seen are based in the US). I'd also love to talk to women who've been through this already as a gestational carrier, or who are considering it. I imagine it must be really intense as well as (hopefully) worthwhile to bring a new life into the world in this way.

OP posts:
FannyCann · 24/03/2021 23:10

women who've been through this already as a gestational carrier,

Women who carry a baby and give birth are mothers.

Skymum82 · 05/04/2021 19:01

Not sure if the above message was being really rude or just totally uninformative.

I'm so sorry to hear what's happened to you. I had a d&c in the past. Are you sure there is no way it can thicken up over time.
I know someone who is being a surrogate now so it does happen and there are kind people out there who will.

Skymum82 · 05/04/2021 19:03

I know you said about your endometrium I had a scan last year (nothing to do with d&c as that was before my first living child now have 3), my lining was very very thin. Anyway I'm now 15 weeks pregnant and it's not come up. I have pcos so assumed it was due to hormones.

OhHolyJesus · 06/04/2021 14:21

The comment above was factual as a woman who gives birth is a mother not a 'carrier'. A woman is not a suitcase or a shopping trolley. This kanaguge has been used in the last and is more in line with commercial surrogacy say from America.

You are obviously U.K. based OP so I'm sure that's not what you were implying from your OP. I'm sorry to hear of your miscarriages. Do you have embryos already frozen?

You mentioned that your own mother fostered children, has growing up with that put you off or is that something you might pursue? This struck me as you see a biological connection to a family that obviously wasn't necessary in your own family to feel like one.

Surrogacy is debated hard on Mumsnet for what I hope are obvious reasons. Are you looking to find a woman to have a baby for you on this thread or just hear their experiences?

OhHolyJesus · 06/04/2021 14:22


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