Owning small pets and (my) guilt when you fail to love them - a warning

[Jules2]

This is not so much a discussion thread as a confession and warning to those of you out there on the verge of getting a guinea pig or similar small pet for your child(ren). We bought 2 GPs (brothers) for our daughter when she was 7 and the novelty wore off within weeks - she soon stopped even cuddling them. The cleaning, playing and cuddling fell to her Dad and me. It wasn't so bad as the boys were company for each other but then the smaller one (John) died and Edward was left alone. We didn't want to get another one so we tried to re-home him - asking various small animal farms, friends and advertising online. It seems there are plenty of unwanted GPs out there so we didn't have much chance. Edward got lonelier and sadder, and we did try to play with him daily but we were just too busy and forgot - we also have an elderly and now sickly) cat who - quite honestly - I love(d) much more. We moved house in March 2016 and brought both pets with us naturally. Edward had always lived in a hutch outside but now he was further from the house and we had builders in, blocking the easy way out to the back garden. Aside from feeding and cleaning him out, we neglected Edward emotionally and he died in November - alone and unloved - during the night at some point. I won't lie and say I miss him but I am still filled with remorse for having left an animal to become so lonely and, I'm sure, very depressed. Poor Edward died without having a cuddle for maybe 2 or more weeks. And I call myself an animal lover. We didn't do nearly enough to solve the problem of his being alone and, with the benefit of hindsight, I would not have bought the GPs in the first place. SO - please take heed of my experience and if you have even the slightest inkling that you won't be able to commit fully to loving and caring (emotionally) for your pet, just don't get one.

Reported the post

I only hope Edward had a place to run around, my dad built all my GPs a run out of chicken wire so every day they had fresh grass and exercise, when we had the same sex GPs they actually had the whole garden to play in. If poor Edward died after years of being stuck in a hutch that is beyond cruelty.

This backs up my decision not to have caged pets despite DD begging for rabbits/hamsters/piggies. We have 2 cats and 2 dogs, all firmly my responsibility although DD does help look after them and newest cat is quite definitely 'hers'. I completely agree with the 'don't get them for kids unless you want, and will love, them yourself' school of thought, newest Dcat ended up with us because her last owners DC had got bored with her (their loss our gain, she's wonderful) so I know it happens and I hate to think how many small animals end up unloved at the bottom of gardens

I would get GPs again as me and my husband love them, before we our son at one point we had 3 rabbits and 2 GPs, 2 of the rabbits were rescued from owners who kept them locked in hutches every single day of the year. It sickens me. All our guineas and rabbits were very loved. Our parents thought we were mad. The money we spent on new hutches and runs was a joke but we were prepared to do it to give them the best life we could.

gardenangels yes because the RSPCA don't have enough to do and will rush around to investigate the owner of a lonely deceased guinea pig who was clean and fed.

(Especially when they took three months to be persuaded do anything about a neglected and underfed horse with sores on its legs which had been dumped in a field at the back of my sister's house a while back. )

There is a certain irony in these 'animal loving' posters attacking someone for what they perceive as cruelty

Is it not cruel to keep any animal caged? To own a sentient being, to force it into a dependency relationship devoid of meaningful consent?

You are right uncontrolled and that does need to change, we are talking about taking care of pets the best way you can whilst they do indeed live in captivity.

Am pretty sure all the animals we have (dog, ponies, guinea pigs, sheep, and a stray pigeon that adopted us plus chickens and ducks) have a happier, longer life with us than in their natural habitat.

They have all been bred for captivity. They wouldn't have the skills to survive in the wild. They have as much as a natural life that we can provide for them.

But if you dumped even the ponies up a welsh mountain they wouldn't last long despite being welsh mountain ponies.

And the stray pigeon that is let out every morning until dusk was sat on the kitchen window sill asking to come in at lunchtime today. And the ponies were queueing up at the gate for their nice warm stables and the dog refused to even venture out of the house for a wee.

The guinea pigs did come out of their bedroom briefly to drag a carrot and half a red pepper back in with them tho. But I haven't seen them in their run for the last 2 days.

The ducks were happy enough tho!

The whole concept of pet ownership is problematic, sorry, no matter how nice you think you are being

just no.

I just found it ironic, and sad tbh that pet owners thought they occupied some kind of moral high ground

I think we do occupy a higher ground. I take on board your comments about 'owning' a sentient being. But know at least most of my animals are better off with me than where they were.

Dog was rescued from a puppy farm.

Dpony 1 was rescused from a breeder.
Dpony 2 was bought from a private home rather than be sent to a dealer.
Dpony 3 was bought from a breeder and would have stayed with them had I not begged them to sell to me. She would have had a more natural life but had a foal every year and lived up a scottish mountain with little human interaction which she loves.

Gp 1 was rescued by my nephew from auction.
I bought gp 2 from a breeder simply because no local rescue places had a single boar for rehoming.
Chickens came from a battery farm.
Ducks I outbid the meatman for at auction.
Sheep would have gone to market 2 years ago for the meat trade.
Pigeon was found stunned and dazed last summer in our front garden. Offered it a shed and food for a few days, released it and she never went. Is free to leave at any time as she is let out every morning.

I do the very best I can for my animals. If I couldn't do that they would be rehomed or in a couple of cases PTS. And my best is good. They want for nothing. All of them are fed, watered and see a vet when necessary. They all have appropriate housing. They are all free to interact with their own species. To exhibit natural behaviour. All apart from the dog and pigeon live with their own kind.

The dog won't tolerate other dogs in 'her' home. The pigeon exercises with a local flock daily but choses to come home every night. The dog does socialise daily with other dogs on her walks.

Some animals seek out human company. Dogs and ponies and the sheep follow us around freely. They have been bred for 1000's of years to rely on humans for company, leadership, food, shelter. They aren't dragged out of their natural environment and forced into captivity. We are their natural environment now.

It is a very difficult question. I think I am beginning to come around to your way of thinking when it comes to small caged animals Uncontrolled; but I am wavering about this. Frouby though puts a good case, and if you look at say rabbits in the wild, many of them have a pretty miserable existence.

On the other hand, I am beginning to have doubts about the ethics of these small animals being bred solely for our pleasure (although I know rabbits and GPS are bred for food in some parts of the world) and being bred largely for their looks which can cause health problems.

I don't have such qualms when it comes to dogs and horses as they have been domesticated and bred to live with man for centuries. Also, I have visited Argentina and Australia where horses live in the wild, save for an annual rounding up and culling etc, and never have I seen such under-nourished, diseased, pitiful creatures in some instances, some enduring terribly painful injuries (and those were the ones who'd survived the harsh conditions).

Nature - without interference from man - is red in tooth and claw.

A complicated issue.

Obviously, just to add, there are huge problems with dog breeding for looks too; I just meant that dogs and horses can live a more natural life alongside us without being caged etc

It sounds like a scene from "Babe" at your place Frouby btw

Unfair to say kids always lose interest. We got rabbits when ours 6 and 4 they now 10 and 8 and feed and care for those rabbits daily. They run round the garden during the day and go in the hutch at night. Every play date involves a cuddle with the rabbits. I oversee to make sure they clean and fed but the girls have done all the emotional and lots of the practical care as they got older. I think having animals has been good for them - Dh and I not particularly pet people but the rabbits have on balance been a success.

I read this while cuddling my boys. One of the reasons our piggies are indoor pigs is because they are social animals and I wouldn't risk them being lonely.

Whenever I am asked about my boys I say it's like having 2 little doggies who live in a cafe in the living room. They chat to me on a morning, beg for food (I can't eat salad around them, they go nuts unless they get the cucumber and peppers), love sitting watching TV on my knee and are easily the most demanding pets I've owned. And I had a German shepherd who needed 3 hours of walks a day and had separation anxiety.

Any pet ownership requires dedication. They are a huge commitment and although we agreed to guinea pigs because DD wanted a pet, they are my boys (babies). I researched how to care for them, I've found the vet (you need a good one), I feed them, water them and make sure they are groomed and get their hair cuts (ones a Silkie) and baths. I clean their cage and arrange their piggie sitters when we are away. And I'm the one who benefits from their company in return.

It is Fingals lol. It's lots of fun and everyone is happy.

Our animals are ridiculously friendly. They are well loved and cared for but pay us back in spades. In particular the ponies thrive on a routine, firm but fair handling, compassion without humanising them.

One of my ponies has been with me since dd was 18 months old. Dd was about 3 and pony had an injury that required an operation and physio afterwards. One day whilst doing physio on the pony with dd in with me a colt got loose on the yard.

I legged it out of the stable and left dd in with pony as it was safer for her in their than crossing the yard while a randy colt was trying to get in with mares with a foal at foot. Helped mate capture colt after about 10 minutes. Heard dd quietly sobbing so legged it to stable and nearly got my face caved in by my mare.

She had 'pushed' dd with her nose away from the stable door into back corner of stable and was stood guarding her from naughty colt. In the wild a new stallion or colt will sometimes kill foals of the previous stallion to preserve resources for their own offspring. Unfortunately dd had stepped back into her water bucket and had wet knickers which is why she was upset.

But the pony saw dd as vulnerable in a stressful situation and did what she could to protect her.

Ddog is lovely. Very friendly and sociable with people and dogs. Apart from when ds was in his sling or pram. In which case she would guard me and the pram against anyone she didn't know, dog or human, approaching.

Other pony came straight off a scottish hill. Took her to a show for education reasons a year after I had her. Ds (then 2) broke free from dp and legged it over to me. Pony never flinched. Dp followed him and pony nearly took his head off with her back feet. Dp doesn't really come to the yard much and pony doesn't know him that well. She perceived him as a threat to me and ds and reacted accordingly.

Other pony wouldn't load in a trailer or lorry for previous owner. I knew him (same yard) before I bought him. She couldn't do anything to him. That same pony follows me on a trailer without a headcollar (found out doing some cleaning one day), lets me clip him without a headcollar and would die for me and my kids.

My animals see me as part of their herd or pack. Even the chickens leg me up going to muck heap and the ducks follow me around like lost souls. The pigeon dive bombs me. The guinea pigs sing to me whenever they hear my voice. Food related obviously but they still know and trust me to provide for them.

My animals chose to have a relationship with me. I don't force it on them. They chose to do the things I ask of them. And seek to please.

I don't agree with some species being bred for captivity. I think rabbits in particular find being handled difficult. Racehorses are highly strung and have inherent health and mental issues. Many breeds of dogs have health issues.

But the animals I have are healthy and 'fit for purpose'. Well looked after and cared for. So I do take the moral high ground over someone who has a social animal at the bottom of the garden until it dies.

Actually as a child (I was 7 or 8) I got a rabbit (baby) who though I handled him was very unfriendly and scratched and bit whenever he was picked up.

My brother then got a small ginger and white young or baby Guinea pig that we were assured would be company for the rabbit. They were both males however and I think rabbit tried to mate with the guinea pig so we ended up separating them. Luckily the GP got lots of attention and they spent time together (no mating) in the garden in a net enclosure during the summer.

After a year or so we got bored with them and gave them to a girl at school who had a large house and garden.

To be quite honest this was 1970s and vets/pet shop didn't really have that much knowledge of GPs. I'd probably have got 2 GPs and kept rabbit in his separate hutch. I'm pleased we rehomed the GP and rabbit to a nice home though, the girl apparently did get another GP as company for our GP.

I agree that children of 7 and 8 should not keep a pet like this though unless pan adult helps care for it but I'd had mice before and they'd been very well cared for by me, alone.

I have read the thread so just following the last few posts here is a vote for house rabbits. They are easily litter trained and if you take a bit of care to rabbit proof the house they are delightful companions. I had one who loved being in the middle of all the action with the dogs and cats (ha also had rabbit companions).

This thread is so sad. There are thousands of 'Edwards' out there. Our 2 lovely 9 week old bunnies were adopted from the local SPCA centre where they were born after their Mum was taken in after found straying. They are beautiful, loving girls who needed a home. And they are so welcome in ours. DS loves them and helps with them but the commitment of time and money is mine and DH's.

Sorry - had to leave this thread for a while. Just a last word on the subject of 'small' pet ownership though. If I wasn't an animal lover I'm sure I wouldn't feel in the least upset about Edward becoming lonely and depressed without his brother. Life sometimes gets in the way of a lot of things (in our case selling house and moving, builders taking over new house, an old and ailing cat and my own lumbar spine op). Hindsight is a wonderful and useless thing unfortunately. I simply wanted to send out a warning to people like myself that you really don't know how much time you'll have to spend with a pet and small animals take up far more time than you'd think. Most children don't have the staying power and quickly want to move on to the next exciting thing. Adults have work and other commitments. Unless you want to make your GP or rabbit your number 1 priority, just don't get one.