Owning small pets and (my) guilt when you fail to love them - a warning

[Jules2]

This is not so much a discussion thread as a confession and warning to those of you out there on the verge of getting a guinea pig or similar small pet for your child(ren). We bought 2 GPs (brothers) for our daughter when she was 7 and the novelty wore off within weeks - she soon stopped even cuddling them. The cleaning, playing and cuddling fell to her Dad and me. It wasn't so bad as the boys were company for each other but then the smaller one (John) died and Edward was left alone. We didn't want to get another one so we tried to re-home him - asking various small animal farms, friends and advertising online. It seems there are plenty of unwanted GPs out there so we didn't have much chance. Edward got lonelier and sadder, and we did try to play with him daily but we were just too busy and forgot - we also have an elderly and now sickly) cat who - quite honestly - I love(d) much more. We moved house in March 2016 and brought both pets with us naturally. Edward had always lived in a hutch outside but now he was further from the house and we had builders in, blocking the easy way out to the back garden. Aside from feeding and cleaning him out, we neglected Edward emotionally and he died in November - alone and unloved - during the night at some point. I won't lie and say I miss him but I am still filled with remorse for having left an animal to become so lonely and, I'm sure, very depressed. Poor Edward died without having a cuddle for maybe 2 or more weeks. And I call myself an animal lover. We didn't do nearly enough to solve the problem of his being alone and, with the benefit of hindsight, I would not have bought the GPs in the first place. SO - please take heed of my experience and if you have even the slightest inkling that you won't be able to commit fully to loving and caring (emotionally) for your pet, just don't get one.

Oh fhs. Because that would be justified wouldn't it; harassing and hurting someone because they have expressed genuine remorse for not keeping their clean and fed pet in ideal circumstances owing to a house move, and having made best efforts to re-home it, and wants to stop others repeating her mistake

I don't think she does deserve credit actually. She wants to get loads of credit for being honest.

We have piggies. I have made a mistake or 2 with them. But I certainly don't neglect them.

The RSPCAs 5 freedoms or needs states animals should live with other animals where necessary. This includes guinea pigs as they are social animals. It also states they should be free to express normal behaviour. Which he wouldn't have been able to do as he didn't have a companion to talk guinea pig to.

So based on that the OP met 60% of his needs assuming his hutch was suitable and he was fed and watered and went to the vet when necessary.

No credit from me for meeting 60% of an animals needs I am afraid.

S'okay Fingal I'm just a bit ...... arsey passionate if you've ever stumbled acroos any of my pig-posts .

TBH this post would've been better on Chat rather than a specific Small Pets thread?

You're more likely to reach your target audience in a broader viewed topic.

And feed/water/clean without handling for over 2 weeks isn't enough for guinea-pigs. They won't go hungry that way but they do need interaction, preferably from their own species but if not , in the house where they'll hear the chat, the TV, someone walking by to talk rubbish at them.

There wasn't a mention of a vet, BTW, he died in the night.

What gets me about this thread is that you knew what you were doing.

There was a solution, of getting another GP. But no.

It's sad. Yes, some might say it's "only" a GP. It's not. It's an animal that frankly deserved better.

Never get a pet for a child.
They will be bored in weeks (if you're lucky.)
They won't clean it out and feed it and check the water is fresh and take it to the vets and handle it and ......
We have two cats and a puppy. Because the adults wanted them and the children were happy about that.
Small animals don't take less care as they are small. I think they can actually be harder work. We had a bunny whose teeth didn't line up and needed regular trimming and a long haired that needed really regular grooming.

Fair enough Frouby but the op stated from the outset that her purpose in posting was to prevent others making the same mistake. I didn't see anywhere her wanting credit for honesty (it was me that said that).

I couldn't agree more that herd/social animals should not be kept alone.

However, the op's situation struck a chord with me because I lost (one of a pair) of my (much loved) rabbits at the end of October. The remaining rabbit is in good health but elderly (she is a large 8.5 yr old belier) but she has been VERY depressed at the loss of her companion. She is very attached to me so I don't want to re-home her (also because of her age). I've tried her with two prospective rescues so far (of similar age and younger) but she was very distressed by their presence. She may do better if we get a much younger companion but I don't want to do that only to be in the same position in a year or so.

She eats and drinks well -I don't want to put a healthy animal down despite her depression - I'm not sure the vet (who is a rabbit enthusiast herself) would agree to that either.

And you know what, a close family member was ill over Christmas so I wasn't around as much to give her all the attention she deserves (although I am now).

I don't want to go on hi-,jacking thread but just saying all of this to illustrate that this sort of situation does happen in RL. So perhaps it would be best if people reserved their ire for those that are intentionally cruel to animals, not those who are doing their best (but sometimes nonetheless failing) in difficult circumstances. Why would the op bother to post if she truly didn't care?

70s yes, I recognized you as the passionate pig owner on here and one of your previous threads helped out a friend of mine

diamonds you can go on getting companion animals but sooner or later one of them will die leaving the other alone. I am wondering what the ethical solution is to this?

Unfortunately you were just a shit owner.

Fingals your situation is different because you have tried and your rabbit is elderly. I assume that this guinea pig was young therefore could have either spent 5 years miserable and lonely, or died.

I don't think the 2 situations are comparable to be honest.

Anyone even doing basic research on guinea-pigs will find out that they are companion animals and should be with another piggy. It's a basic need of the species. In a busy home with people in and out all day and lots of attention they might do ok alone. But not at the bottom of the garden.

The OP won't be the first to do this or the last. Unfortunately it happens every day. She didn't need to confess.

But she isn't an animal lover either and shouldnt pretend otherwise.

Frouby I guess the op could not bring the remaining go indoors because of her elderly cat. And I still think her confession could prove useful as there are often people posting on Mnsnet asking "which pet should I buy for my DC?" etc etc not realising the commitment a GP or a rabbit requires.

Agree, think we can all agree that this does happen all too often though

Also good point about age of GP - I had assumed it was elderly.

Also there are people on forums and rescues that will travel hundreds of miles to collect piggies in need. I know because I'm one of them. You failed, I feel sad that you feel the need to share your failure.

I still have nightmares that my childhood rabbit is found dead, starved and skin and bones after not being fed for months/years on end because when he was alive he got neglected, not severe like my dreams but not loved enough either. As someone pointed out though it shouldn't fall to children to be/feel responsible. I will never let my children have a caged pet for this reason.

Even in my friendship group I've seen this DCs want a pet, parents getbone or two usually rabbits. DC lose interest rabbits stuck in tiny shed at the end of the garden fed and watered but not much more.

I'm desperate for a couple of bunnies but they'll be mine and I'll be responsible for them.

Just wanted to add a cheerier note to this rather sad thread and say my daughter has begged me for a pet since she was old enough to talk and DH and I always said no for so many of the reasons outlined on here (chiefly that I knew I would be the on end to look after it and I didn't want to). Now finally, at the age of 15, we have cracked and let her have a hamster - because I know she is old enough to fully take responsibility and she does (I was also confident that the hamster would die before she left home - sounds harsh, but it was a consideration). I had no interest in or love for hamsters before we got him, but now he's here I absolutely love him - to the extent that we'd planned to put the cage in her bedroom (moving him out at night because he makes quite a racket), but we've ended up keeping his cage in the hallway (we are open plan) so we can see him all the time. I've even been known to take him out for a little stroke while my dd is at school. I'm surprised how quickly he's become part of the family. I'm also surprised how happy he seems to be to live in his cage - after he's been out for a little run round with dd and her brother he climbs back in of his own accord.

I had a little weep reading this. We have just lost our last rabbit having lost his companion 18 months ago. He lived with us since then as we couldn't bear to think of him alone, but it wasn't easy as we also have a murderous cat. I had no idea per-rabbit how labour intensive a small pet would be... if you did it right. But oh the stories of casual cruelty I hear regularly... heartbreaking.

I've never kept rabbits but I had a wander onto Gumtree - someone is selling a rabbit because they're off on holiday - there are places like Small Animal Boarding doh .
Most are baby bunnies looking for homes - are they just random breeders (un-neutered pets)or do they actually churn out litters to sell?
The obligatory Kids Lost Interest.
And a few Dogs don't like them.

It is said that rabbits are the most neglected of the small pets

Utterly dismal reading that site.

I don't look 70. It's awful.

There is a similar selling site for horses and ponies called Dragon Driving. I can't look at that either.

If you are responsible for a new life I think you must take responsibility for that life for the lifetime of the animal. So if you can't keep it then don't breed it. And even then unless you have a very compelling reason for breeding then don't bother.

And don't bleat on fb about hunting/shooting, bull fighting, animal cruelty while your dog barks all day because it's alone for 10 hours a day or your housecat is relegated to the garage because of a new baby or your rabbit needs the vet for an ulcer on its eye, but it's still eating and the appointment will cost more than a new rabbit.

Don't buy any more pets if you can't be arsed to look after them . You could have take him to the vet and had him put down rather than leaving him in that miserable existence. He wouldn't have known any differently

If you're the kind of person why will leave a social creature on its own in a garden in all weather with no warmth or companionship you really have no business ever getting another animal again.

All animals bought as family pets should be part of the family.

I hope this animal cruelty confessional hasn't made you feel any better.

What is wrong with you? This has turned my stomach.

You should be reported to the RSPCA

The OP has not been back because she simply doesn't give a fuck . Hopefully karma will deal its hand. Maybe when she is a lonely woman.

MNHQ is there any way this poster can be reported to RSPCA for animal cruelty and neglect? I don't think this is acceptable she knew she was neglecting Edward and it only ended when he died. She should not be allowed to have animals.