Need advice!

[Sleepingbunnies]

Some of you may remember that last year our darling piggies were got by a fox. My daughter was 4 at the time and my BIL thought the best thing to do was 'replace' the piggies :( he got two baby piggies and wrote a card explaining that our pigs had gone to Peru to look after their sick mother

This was 2 days after we lost them :(

Our daughter seemed to accept this, although this would not have been my way of dealing with it, I wanted to tell her an edited version of the truth but that chance kinda got taken out of my hands!!

So, fast forward to last night, she looked me dead in the eye and said 'when are salt and pepper coming home, they have looked after their mum for ages' followed by 'can we phone them'.

I had to leave the room and DP took over. I cried buckets last night.

I don't know what to do now. It was never my idea to tell her lies in the first place.

What would you do?

I'm with you in that I would have told the truth at the start. Kids handle it better than adults think.

Unfortunately you are now stuck in a lie. I would probably go along with it now and say their mum needs them and they can't come back but they hope that the new pigs are looking after your DD. and they don't have phones in the mountains of Peru.

So while we had our piggies out tonight DD burst into tears and said she missed Salt & pepper and she wanted them home. I admit I burst into tears too. I told her that they knew how much she loved them and that sometimes when animals go away they don't come back.

I wish he had never started this fucking ridiculous story!!!!

Whilst this seems huge now, it will soon pass. When she's 18 she will probably look back and wonder how she fell for the story. My DDs are 13 and already laugh and groan about the daft things they believed when they were little. She will not blame you at all and will understand why you went along with it. She will probably not blame your BIL (whose heart was in the right place).

Just keep talking to her. Tell her that although they can't come back Salt and Pepper will never forget her and will always love her just as she will always remember them. Try and focus on the new pigs - is it nearly their birthday? They could have a party with paper hats she could make etc. I think Fortified (on here somewhere) has made a birthday cake for pigs before.

Your DD is young so distraction could help.

fernie you little angel! I told her we are having a birthday party for them!! She is over the moon and planning the decorations

How very distressing. I think you handled it well, telling her Salt and Pepper can't come back. Bet you could wish your BIL further.

Guinea pig should defo have a party There was someone who made a pig friendly cake but it wasn't me.

My pigs have 'tea parties' on special occasions. A bag of naice salad leaves in front of the patio door in winter and a pot of parsley to share on Birthdays.

Sorry fortified - I must have mixed up piggy people .

Pot of parsley is a good idea though. It could be decorated by sleepings DD. she could make them a face out of salad. Distraction is wonderful. Shame it only works on little ones.

the piggie cake was KRITIQ for her DBoars (lovely smooth and lovely Texel Cross)

IIRC it was hay cookies and thin sliced veg layered up

Our boys have "Gotcha Days" because they are very secretive about their real ages so we celebrate the day they came into the family .

Death of an animal is a huge impact on a child , sometimes it's the first death they experience.
When our cat was PTS (she was 17) I had to be really careful not to mention injections (in case the DC got scared of any injections they might get) and the 'sleep' part of PTS in case they were afraid to sleep themselves.

It's a minefield