Me and my fiancié had an amazing relationship, the only issue was he would go out drinking at his Dad’s and fall asleep and not let me know. ( I know hes at his dad’s as his step-mum would tell me)
So i said i need communication which he would do.
However I’ve now found out he’s using cocaine, and his addiction is getting worse.
He will go on a bender and be missing all night / next day. Then wake up and ask me for help to get home.
Apologise and it wont happen again. Its roughly happened about 5 times in the past year.
Makes him paranoid to hell, and begs me for money and everything else.
When he uses cocaine, he's also drinking and then will end up gambling his money too.
This has only come out since I found i was pregnant. Which I understand this can be a trigger.
The paranoia has now triggered accusations of cheating, being vile to me, the baby’s not his, horrible names.
One time we went out and he kicked off at me at the pub because he was so intoxicated and because I wouldn’t let him drive its my fault when I was protecting everyone and himself.
Last time his car got impounded by police and I was scared to tell him so I didn’t straight away but then that caused trust issues as I lied to him.
I explained why I did it, in the fact I was so scared to tell him after the abuse he shouted at me.
This breaks me as this is not the man I fell in love with.
He doesn’t always remember what he’s said, and he doesn’t mean his actions its the alcohol and the drugs mixed together.
Everyone is saying this is abuse which I guess it is, but its only because of the drugs and alcohol. Alcohol on its own is fine he just crashes its the drugs as well.
My friends say leave, hes abusive your in domestic abuse, and I am not condoning his behaviour at all. He will never change according to them.
Also some of the things hes said worries me which I think is the alcohol and drugs.
Hes worried im going to leave him, find someone else. Ill cheat on him as he can’t always perform. He threatened to take our baby and he said he said it as he’s scared, as I have told him he isn’t doing it around the baby, also told him I will take her and stop him seeing baby so he threw what I said back.
He constantly goes who you having around tonight when he's not here. If im late from school run its who have you met. He constantly says the babys not his when it's a million percent his.
But I don’t want to leave and let him spiral he said he would go, and I don’t want that. The man I love is still in there, its the drugs that’s made him like this and it breaks my heart.
I have now lost all my friends as they won’t support my decision and said im an idiot, im risking eveything. I don’t know how you can be fine one minute and upset the next, and then fine again.
But it’s not that easy, I love this man with all my heart, I’m so broken he’s turned to this.
Since being pregnant, house worries and money worries, hates his job at times, hes stressed. It’s how he copes as he’s never had any other way to cope.
How do I fix this, by helping him but also getting my friends to understand.
He said he wants to get help and stop, but I know it isn't easy, or is he just saying it as it's what I need to here.
I know I make excuses for him.
Im scared, heart broken